On Election Night in November 2016, I was at a results watching party with the Racine County Dems. Very early in the evening, I knew. I knew what was coming. In fact, I knew months before that. I had been in therapy and most of my sessions leading up to the election were filled with…
One year ago today on Seagrove Beach in Florida. We were supposed to leave for Florida today. I hope with all of my heart that my feel will once again feel the ocean waves. I have written a lot about my anxiety disorder and, even more specifically, my fear of death. Never have I thought…
I recently asked friends on Facebook how they are handling this new existence that has been thrust upon us. Initially, it was out of curiosity but, let's face it, I was looking for ideas. The answers pretty much filled the spectrum from "Not well" to "Going with the flow". Of course, I was envious of…
2020 was designated (by only myself, but still) to be The Year of Heather. 2019 was rough and many changes were made. Two surgeries (elective but with the intent to improve my health and quality of life) one of which required a long, shitty recovery, lost a job, started a new job, remodeled a kitchen,…
When you live most of your life somewhere on the spectrum of anxiety disorder, your perception can get a little goofy. You're somewhat used to the fight flight response because your broken brain sets it off in any given moment often for no reason at all. A response that is built into our human psyche…
"You need to find the courage to be happy." I recently heard this quote, although I am not sure where. It really slapped me right in the face. It made sense to me and I don't think it would have before this point in my life. What has changed? I actually am happy. Yikes. Even…
(I have written an update to this post. While most everything here still rings true and is important, there are just a few updates which can be found HERE.) I belong to a couple of online support forums - one for anxiety and one for arrhythmias/heart issues. It is quite fascinating how the topics can…
I am 10 days away from surgery. This sucks balls. Actually, I wish I HAD balls because none of this would be happening at all. Men have it so easy, I swear. I protest the inequality of gender based body parts!!! I'll start workin' on a chant... My uterus is being evicted and hopefully it…
What I write below is very personal. Many will also consider it graphic or gross. I am not writing this for entertainment purposes. I am writing this for those who are out there and in the same boat as me...to know they are not alone. I am also writing this for my own cathartic reasons.…
When I started getting panic attacks just over 15 years ago, they were rarely discussed and the general public certainly did not understand what they really were. Most people thought it was a symptom of crazy people or an exaggerated expression of being stressed out. The Sopranos shed some light on panic as Tony suffered…
Ramblings of a Neurotic Housewife 