Monthly Archives: November 2005

Holiday Break


I wrote this in about 7 minutes in order to submit it for Mackenzie’s school Newsletter. It looks like they’re going to print it LOL. I can’t believe it…its kinda dumb..but here it is………


We shuffle through the snow

And slide on the ice

As the bus door opens

The driver smiles so nice


We take off our boots

Mittens, hats, and coats

We warm in our seats

All ready to take notes


The teacher is happy

Wait, what did she say

How could I forget

This is our last day


Weeks with no homework

I knew it was near

No reading no math

Holiday break is here


I will miss my friends

My teachers and stuff

But snowmen, toys, cartoons

I can’t get enough


We’ll be back so soon

In the blink of an eye

So I must hurry up

And say a happy good bye






Creative Starvation?


It is like my body and mind are craving something that I cannot see. Something that I am not doing that I should be doing and my mind is retaliating with anxieties. I have these ideas that I never fulfill. Whether it is being lazy or a complete lack of knowledge, I just continue to sit here and WAIT for something to come to me.


I had the idea of creating a documentary about people who go to visit cemeteries. Or about graveyards in general. Nothing dark or scary, but more of a personal glimpse at the lives and motivations of the people who visit their loved ones, the people who work in cemeteries, and even a glimpse into the lives of the deceased. It would consist of interviews with these people (not the dead ones of course – they are usually pretty shy), backgrounds, shots of interesting or humorous headstones…stuff like that. I wanted to call it Epitaph.


I also had an idea about writing a book about this man in Wisconsin, Steven Avery. He was in prison for something like 18 years for a rape before evidenced proved his innocence of the crime and he was set free. There were then stories in the media about how this poor man lived in a small ice fishing shack because he had no money and his life was taken away. I remember seeing these stories and feeling so badly for him. Today, he is being charged with the rape and murder of a young Wisconsin woman. Tell me there isn’t an interesting story here.


Someone else mentioned something to me about making a documentary about the loads of people trying to save the show Arrested Development, a show about a parody documentary. I know this could be very funny and challenging.


But I look at these ideas and doubts fill my mind. Reality fills my mind. Lack of education, no disposable money what so ever, lack of free time, no movie making skills or equipment…there see…mind is now flooded with reasons to continue sitting on my ass.


Maybe, just maybe someday something will kick me – will give me that jolt I need to go out there and do what my spirit is calling for. Maybe I already am. Perhaps I was MEANT to simply be a mother and a wife..a cook and a cleaner..a person with ideas and no ambition. Maybe just maybe I am SUPPOSE to be bored and anxious. Ya think?

Jarhead…still feeling the effects…



I went to see this movie with great apprehension. Another shoot em up war movie, I thought. But it was the only one showing at the theatre we like that showed an ounce of promise.  That ounce quickly flashed into pounds as I sat there fixated on the beautiful editing, the remarkable acting, and the unexplained imagery.


Much like the movie Three Kings, the desert scenes were shot with an endless ability to make sand and nothingness glaring art. Scenes of rolling white sands, gushing pools of black oil, and the distorted waves of heat all lifted the viewers from their cushioned theatre seats to the middle of the arid desert.


The acting by all the major characters was more than compelling, and aside from Peter Sarsgaard whom I was already a fan, also surprising. The shear anger portrayed by Gyllenhaal and the lonely loyalty portrayed by Sarsgaard were heartbreaking and so real. I truly believe that Sarsgaard and Jake Gyllenhaal both deserve Oscar nominations for these performances. 


 But the one aspect of this film that I find most intriguing and powerful was the absence of useless explanation.  This movie went out of its way not to insult the intelligence of its audience. There was much left to our own discovery and introspection. That is what I appreciated most.


Regardless of one’s feelings about war in general or the Gulf Wars in particular, there were impacts made by this film that cannot be denied. The horrifying emotions of soldiers from yesterday and today will likely never be completely understood. But films like Jarhead provide the much needed shed of light on their emotional plights during war and for the rest of their lives. Being able to illuminate these dark realities with comedy and humanity is why I believe Jarhead is one of the best films I have seen in a long, long time.

Authenticly You



Oh to be one. When you want something you scream. When you are frustrated you yell. When you poop you cry. When you don’t want anymore you throw a Cheerio at someone’s head. Oh to be one. That straight up sincerity. That bold honesty afraid of nothing and no one. What I wouldn’t give to scream, yell, cry, and throw a bagel at someone. Pure authenticity.


Have you ever imagined what it would be like to say exactly what you want whenever you want? Have you ever imagined a world that would allow for such expression, such honestly?


But we cannot be this way in a society. We need to be civil at all times. Politically correct, reserved, and mainstream. We need to be aware and considerate of the feelings of others. Can authenticity exist with consideration and a caution for other’s feelings? I propose it can.


If you have something to say, say it to that person. If you have a true criticism, it would be best served addressing it directly, would it not? Do not gossip.


If you don’t want to attend a party, just say so. Don’t just not show up. Be honest.


If you feel someone has been mean or disrespectful to you, let them know that you deserve more than that. Let them know you will not quietly bow your head and shuffle away. Speak up.


When you speak to someone, do it with respect and dignity. Speak to them as though you are speaking to yourself. And speak to yourself with that same thoughtfulness. They are no more important than you. And you, no more important than them.


Offer a hand when it is needed. Apologize when you have done wrong. Show gratitude for all you have been given. Cry when you are sad. Laugh when you are happy. Dance when you hear music. Enjoy silence. And sing when the world gets a little too quiet.


Be you. We are all a work in progress. Just make sure that there is always progress being made.


Be authentic. Be one. And watch out for those Cheerios.