Why does this keep making me cry like a baby??
Talking about YouTube – Susan Boyle – Singer – Britains Got Talent 2009 (With Lyrics)
Click here to hear Susan Boyle singing ‘Cry Me A River’ , from a charity cd in 1999. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jI2DxkrgpgQ47 Year old Susan Boyle wows the judges with her performance in the auditions for Britains Got Talent, singing I dreamed a dream from Les Miserables.Here are the Lyrics(Thanks to NewHotdox) -I dreamed a dre…
This past Friday was my 35th birthday. And perhaps it goes without saying; I have been in a pretty icky funk lately. Turning 35 in itself was enough to start me in a self pity direction. Then I had the most uneventful, forgettable birthday ever. And now here I am on a Monday morning realizing yet again that I am just on this hamster wheel of which I have no idea how to get off – or even where I would go if I did. Oh and I think I may have cancer.
Do I even really need to explain how being 35 sucks for me right now? I mean, I feel like I have accomplished nothing in my life really. I have nothing that is just mine. I still don’t know who or what I want to be when I grow up. I mean, come on. When am I going to find MY LIFE??
Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!
Last night I watched the season 2 finale of Damages. Damages is a suspenseful prime time drama on the FX network. This is probably the first television show with such a remarkable, stellar cast. Peppered with the likes of Glenn Close, Rose Byrne, Tate Donovan, Ted Danson, Zeljko Ivanek, Marcia Gay Harden, and William Hurt – this show never ceases to amaze me as to which actor will show up next.
Damages is shot like well directed movie and written with a high degree of intelligence and excitement. Based on corruption, greed, murder, deceit, trust…Damages revolves around powerful attorney Patty Hewes (Close) and her new associate Ellen Parsons (Byrne). But this is not your typical legal series. From pretty much the first episode we knew the battles would take place in the lives of these attorneys and those they know – and not so much in the courtrooms.
This is definitely a show in which spoilers would truly ruin the experience…so aside from the description above, I will not divulge that will enthrall you naturally anyway. I will, however, ask that if you have not already been enjoying Damages, please rent season one and watch the reruns of season two on FX. Be ready for next season, you will not be disappointed. And hopefully, this favorite of mine will not be ridiculously cancelled like some others that have my undies in a bundle (Life, Life on Mars, The Riches…).
Anywho…check it out, eh?
In my latest attempts to improve my health and body – while losing weight – I have decided to approach the situation differently. And as it turns out, it may not be so strange after all.
Little background – when I was 29 years old I quit smoking, alcohol (with the exception of a glass of wine once in a blue moon) and caffeine. Part of the reason I did this was because I was diagnosed with an arrhythmia that is now under complete control with a beta blocker (medication which keeps heart rate low and steady). At that time I was about 145 or so. I was not happy with my body – as I never have been. But looking back, I do not know what my problem was. I only WISH I could look like that again. HERE is a picture. This is about 2 months before getting pregnant which was a couple weeks after the diagnosis. SOOO…due to the medication and of course, the pregnancy, I gained about 70lbs. Yikes is right.
Now…my “baby” is about 4 ½. And I still have about 30lbs to loose. During these last 4 years, I have tried EVERYthing. Bought a treadmill, DVDs, gym membership, weights, balance ball, Nutrisystem (2 months worth), yada yada…Those 30 pounds do NOT want to budge. I have spent months weighing my food, writing EVERYthing down, counting calories, joining different weight loss websites…again, yada yada. So, a couple months ago I decided that I those typical weight loss methods were just no good for me. I became obsessed with the numbers, with every morsel that went into my mouth. The scale was an enemy that made no sense to me. How could I have been making so many significant changes with virtually no change on the scale? It made me furious.
So, I basically decided to chill. I will buy food that is healthy and not have temptations in the house. If I have a weekend day splurging, I do and TRY to do this without feeling guilt. That is something that will take some time. Only when I do “splurge” I do not stuff myself, ever. I stop eating before that full feeling. I eat smaller meals or snacks throughout the day. Though, I do still need to work on eating breakfast everyday. I basically try to eat when I feel hungry and stop when I am not. I eat only things I really like when I splurge too. I try to eat it slower. And I do not drink any calories. Water, decaf iced tea, decaf coffee…and a diet decaf soda here and there is all I drink. I have not weighed myself in months. No measurements either. I am going to base results by how my clothing fits, how I look naked and how I feel. The scale is a joke anyway. They are never exactly right and our bodies change so much through each day. Hell, around my period – I can gain 7 pounds in bloat!! That is no exaggeration either…unfortunately.
I have also increased my exercise. I use my treadmill about 6 days a week and will do anywhere from 30-50 minutes. I also use my hand weights and balance ball for ab exercises 2-3 times a week.
My mom and husband have said I look thinner. Not sure how honest they are being. But I do feel my pants are a little looser. Anyway…I was reading an article last night and found out about THIS. It is called Intuitive Eating. And it is pretty much what I have been doing on my own. I thought it was so interesting that it was actually being practiced by others intentionally. Check it out.