Tag Archives: facebook

Breast Cancer: It’s All Fun and Games

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Oh goody! I found another thing to be annoyed about and how lucky are you to get this invitation to join in my curmudgeoness. I normally don’t like it when people pretend to be social media police. People do it to me sometimes and it bothers me. So,  I do hate that some of you have put me in the position to flash my own plastic badge. But I simply cannot stop myself.

As you may know, it took me a little while to really have an appreciation for the Ice Bucket Challenge and to realize that it actually was doing a lot of good – even though some people have been intention-challenged about it.  What I am here to bitch about is not the same and I will tell you why.

You must stop playing these insensitive, annoying and imbecilic Facebook games under the guise of breast cancer awareness.

“I just used my boobs to get out of a speeding ticket.”

“I’ve decided to stop wearing underwear.”

The list goes on. And the more it goes on, the more I want to punch you in the vagina.

Listen, I am sure most of you are wonderful, brilliant people in your own way. I am sure that I may like you as a person and perhaps as a friend. I am sure you have decent intentions. But this…this is foolish. Please stop.

Posting some ridiculous status update is doing NOTHING for people with breast cancer. And what it could be doing is offending and even hurting those who are already going through so much. Imagine having to deal with endless rounds of chemo and radiation. Imagine having to go through the side effects of many medications. Imagine losing your hair and having every muscle in your body ache and burn. Imagine having to have your breasts removed in order to, hopefully, extend your life. Then imagine going on Facebook and seeing people repeatedly playing some GAME about the very serious disease you are currently fighting. Imagine seeing senseless, fake posts about using your BOOBS to get out of a ticket!!! Do you see how stupid this is?

How about the oh so popular No Bra Day? You really think women going through breast cancer treatment want to see your tits jiggling and flopping about? Chances are, no, they do not. Put your goddamn bra back on and make a fucking donation. Or offer to give rides to a person facing cancer. Or bring her cookies. Or help her clean her house. Or volunteer to watch her kids. And please, wear a bra while doing any of those things.

You want to help raise breast cancer awareness (even though I am pretty sure most people are fully aware of its existence)? Help educate people. While everyone not living under a rock has heard of breast cancer, they may not know all of the facts. Instead of posting some vague status that isn’t the least bit humorous, post a fact about breast cancer. Or you can post the link to where people can donate.

Sorry if I sound mean and bitchy. But someone needs to tell you guys the truth. These silly games help no one. And they are not even entertaining. If you are going to perpetuate silliness – at least, for the love of Pete, make it FUNNY. And hey, if these games one day morph into something that raises over 80 million dollars – then, perhaps, I will change my tune. In the meantime, I have to go yell at some kids on my lawn.

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The Me Me Me Facebook Game – MY TURN!

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So, I guess I was supposed to come up with 11 secrets nobody knows about me. Well…as you may know…my life is pretty much an open book. What I haven’t already or do not talk about – sure ain’t getting put on a Facebook status. But I came up with a few things that many people probably don’t know (nor would give a shit). And I decided to make it a blog post because…well…I felt like it.

 

1. I don’t know how to use chopsticks and I really am too uncoordinated to pull it off gracefully anyway.

2. I used to eat an entire sleeve of saltines after school almost every day as a young child. When I started to drive, that changed to a half of a loaf of fresh, warm French bread from O&H Bakery.

 

3. Even though I would probably love many different things about it, I am not terribly motivated to travel outside of the U.S.

4. A couple of weeks ago, Charlie brought home a pack of cigarettes. Since then I have been smoking about 2-3 cigarettes a day. I feel like shit about it too…physically and psychologically. I really need to start getting my healthy on…like now.

5. Sometimes I am pretty certain I was supposed to be a cat. And not just because I lick my own butt.

6. I have ten ear piercings. 3 on one ear, 7 on the other. Because I am allergic to nickel, it is very difficult to find matching earrings that are small enough and don’t give me a rash.

7. I admit that I did have a navel ring (P.C.) but I have never had a tramp stamp.

8. I take a bath AND a shower almost every single day.

9. I hate winter with the frozen cold intensity of an ice cream headache. I do not belong here and dream of the day when I can see sunshine and feel warm sand whenever I want.

10. I never learned how to play an instrument and I am pretty torn up about it.

11. Chances are, when you see me in public or at any kind of gathering…I am having anxiety. Some times more than others. Chances are speaking to you makes me nervous even though I am probably enjoying it. I am always worried I will say something stupid, have bad breath or just look ridiculous in just about every conceivable way. So, if I am acting weird…it is because I feel weird.

Hyperbolic Envy for Breakfast

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I never thought I would actually admit this publicly. It is embarrassing and I worry that people I actually like will hold it against me. I mean, really, it makes me sound so petty and unevolved. Kinda humiliating actually. But you know me…it is hard to keep my mouth shut when a thought makes its way into my thick skull.

Anyway…here goes it…

I am jealous of you.

(long belly sigh of relief with a touch of apprehension)

Yea, You. On Facebook. You make me feel those envious feelings with which I have always struggled.

Your constant happiness furrows my forehead. Your successes lead me down the road of inferiority. It’s all your fault that l feel poopy. And I just thought you should know.

Okay, fine. Maybe it’s not ALL your fault. But still…sometimes I do find myself in Poopyville covered in self-pity and resentment after reading my timeline.

I suck, don’t I? I mean, shouldn’t I feel happy for you? Shouldn’t I live a better life knowing that your’s is impeccable and graceful? And it’s not that I want bad things to happen to you. I would, honestly, rather you be content and pleased with your life. Really. Truly.

It’s just that I want that shiny happy life too.

Your kids are flawless. They always get good grades and special admiration from their teachers. I can see from your shared quotes that they say things far beyond their years and are clearly genius and way smarter than my kids. Your children clean their rooms, make you breakfast and never ever drive you to madness.

Your marriage reflects one of a romance novel. You two always post sweet messages to one another. All of your pictures are kissy kissy. And you never, ever fight. You’ve never even considered couple’s therapy; you’d never need it. In fact, you’re probably teaching your own “How to Have the Perfect Marriage” seminar. You don’t understand how anyone could ever cheat. Divorce is not in your vocabulary and your in-laws love you more than your own family – which is quite the feat since your family thinks you shit gold.

You don’t watch TV. You don’t have time for such drivel. And you have read every book on Oprah’s list and know the classics by heart.

You spend your vacations snorkeling in Hawaii and hiking in Costa Rica. And every holiday you serve food to the homeless.

You run 12 miles a day, when you have a cold. You enter every marathon and 5k within a 20 mile radius. And you’ve lost 8 pounds since Monday. You call yourself “bad” if you add cheese to your quinoa. And you only eat cake on your birthday. You buy all organic and haven’t had meat in 6 years.

You have 3495 friends. They all know you and like everything you post. You’re at a different party every weekend and have a girl’s night out once a week. You’re friends with all of your exes and they fawn over every picture you post. You never have to be alone except when you meditate, which you do 20 minutes each day.

You are a yoga master and can bend in the most unnatural positions. You look great in a bikini after 4 kids and 2 C-sections. Your boobs have never sagged because of your stellar genetics. And you function wonderfully on only 5 hours of sleep. You are wrinkle free and swear it is because you wear sunscreen even in the dark.

You have three degrees, work 10 hours a day and volunteer for every field trip.

You never yell or scream or swear. You live in a place of peace and positivity. You don’t complain or insult. Your self-confidence is genuine and unwavering. You are lovely in every way and when you die, the world will suddenly tilt to one side.

I want to be you. I have no excuses. I have to create the change. And perhaps I will do just that. Right after this 4th fun sized Snickers and episode of Real Housewives.

The Power of the De-Friend

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Yesterday, at the grocery store, I heard someone say, “Hey, Miss Opinion.” It was someone I hadn’t seen in a couple of decades so I didn’t realize who it was at first. It was said in fun and I laughed. I mean, it’s not like it isn’t true, right?

You’d think someone who yaks as much as I do and who IS as opinionated as I am – I would have an easier time explaining myself. But there are instances when it is difficult to verbally reconcile the dichotomies wrestling in my muddy mind. But that is what I am about to attempt today.

There are two Facebook conversations that are lingering about in my thoughts this morning. And they kind of tie into one another.

The first was a post I made yesterday regarding the Paula Deen story. I should preface this by saying I do not know every detail of this case, of the deposition nor do I know what really happened or when. I do know that she is being accused of having used racially insensitive words and comments in her past. How often or how long ago, I do not know. I do know she has admitted to some things and has been on a media rampage apologizing her chicken fried head off.

She was fired from The Food Network – the company that made her famous and very, very rich. She was also dropped by Walmart. She is taking some major financial and social hits. And her world has got to feel like it is crumbling. Having been the object of accusations, I know to some extent how this feels. And when I was in the worst of it, I seriously contemplated suicide. So, it is difficult NOT to feel some sort of empathy for her.

However, that does not mean that I am certain her actions did not warrant these consequences.

I said this on Facebook yesterday:

So all of this Paula Deen coverage has me wondering some things. I wonder if she really did just make some stupid mistakes many years ago and has since recognized her errors. I wonder if her entire career should be ruined for said mistakes. I wonder if perhaps she still deep down doesn’t think she did anything wrong.

Most of this we really can’t know for sure. But I sincerely hope I am not judged now by the really dumb-ass shit I did long ago.

Here is an older piece I wrote on the topic:

My Name is Heather and I May Be a Racist

And here is the follow-up (they kind of go hand in hand):

Racism: Alive and Well in Wisconsin

There are a lot of people who are coming to Paula’s defense and are angry about the reactions to her words. They think people need to mind their own business, give her a break and stop being so politically correct.

However, I wanted to make it clear that my uncertainty about her level of guilt or about what her “punishment” should be by no means condones what she has already admitted to saying. Whether it is using the N-word or planning a plantation-themed party including “slaves” – it is wrong wrong wrong.

I do hate the sensitivity level to which we have risen when it comes to political correctness. I have said in the past that the one thing that often stands in my way of being a true “liberal” is my love of inappropriate comedy. With the right audience, the right tone, and the right intention…I think it is possible to find humor in just about anything.

But this does not mean I think it is okay to say whatever you want at the expense of a person’s dignity or spirit. Legally, yes, you can say whatever you wish. And being a writer, an over-sharer and a lover of comedy (and not to mention being insanely opinionated) – I appreciate the 1st amendment like nobody’s business. So – sure. It is a “free country” and anyone CAN say whatever they please. But there will be reaction and there will be consequence. I have paid plenty for my words and I am sure that I will again.

Do I think Paula should have her entire world destroyed? Probably not. From what I DO know about the case…these things happened a long time ago. And none of us live lives free of stupid ass mistakes. NONE of us. But that doesn’t mean it is okay or that she is completely undeserving of public reaction. I find it to be sad and I do hope she is able to do something good with this and pull herself out of it while learning AND teaching a lesson.

The other above mentioned conversation had to do with the recent DOMA ruling. A friend on Facebook posted an update because she was disappointed with how some of her anti-gay marriage acquaintances were reacting to the ruling – saying it is a sin…yada yada. She is a lesbian but also quite religious so she appears to have considerable tolerance to this type of talk. Yet, seemingly, her feelings were hurt, which anyone could understand.

My comment to her was this:

Girl I don’t know how you could allow that toxic bullshit into your life. You’re a bigger person than me because those people would be axed from my list toot sweet. That is one of the things I cannot tolerate. 

And just MHO….I don’t believe in the concept of sin. Instead of sin is a sin is a sin…I say life is life. We’re all just human trying to make our way through 🙂

A following commenter and mutual Facebook friend mentioned that he was surprised I would delete someone for their opinion…most likely because I have so many opinions of my own. I can see why the initial confusion. But it really does make sense to me.

I DO completely support anyone’s right to their own thoughts, feelings and views. I would never say that someone should not be allowed these things. I mean, that would be ridiculous. BUT on my own Facebook wall…in my own personal world…I do not live under a Constitution. I can make up my own rights and regulations. And I do.

If I see someone on Facebook spouting racial slurs – DELETE. If I see someone bashing or even regurgitating hateful ignorance – DELETE. If something really pisses me off, I see no reason to keep that bullshit in my view. And honestly, any REAL friend I would have wouldn’t say those things anyway. So why keep them around? Fuck that.

Life is very very short, people. And when I have the chance to choose who I can let into my life, I will do so. There is a reason I don’t have 1000 Facebook friends. I discriminate in my own way. There are so few chances in life where we CAN control what and who we allow in to our worlds. There are not many instances when we can choose to keep the toxicity at bay. So when I do have an opportunity to do that – you bet your ass I will.

Do they have the right to say and think what they want? Sure as shit do. But I don’t gotta see it. The power to delete, to erase, to walk in another direction is a power that can definitely improve one’s life. And I certainly won’t apologize for using that power.

So, does that make any sense?? Words mean something. And whether if it is something Paula Deen said 30 years ago or something some dickhead says on Facebook…we are allowed our reactions just as much as they are allowed their words. And while I think Paula’s whole life being grilled to death may be a bit too much, there is still consequence for what we say and one of those consequences may be as simple as being de-friended on Facebook.

Why Are You Single, Again?

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Up front, I would like to say that I am not a prude. Nakedness does not gross me out. Sexiness is a part of life. I am a sexual being. And I think most people would admit that a woman’s body can be very appealing. Whether it is hard core porn or a Victoria’s Secret catalog – what you use for visual pleasure is your business. It is also your business what you chose to post on Facebook/Twitter. However, when you make it public – ya gotta expect a reaction.

This post is not directed towards one particular person. And it is not written out of animosity. Just as a discussion topic. Please take it for what it is worth.

I have quite a number of male friends/acquaintances who post mostly naked or porn-esque pictures, drawings and memes on a regular basis. This doesn’t make me dislike them or think they are perverted or weird. But it does make me contemplate some things.

Usually these men are single, liberal-ish and often speak of being lonely or complain about being alone or not being able to find “the right chic”. And it baffles why they wonder about their current circumstances. Not all of them, but some.

This is the most recent meme which sparked this post:

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A comment on the post I thought was very poignant:

that meme mirrors the thinking and ideals of men in certain middle eastern countries (among other places) where women are abused, oppressed, objectified, and seen as possessions. not saying that was your specific intent.. to relay that type misogyny.. but consider your audience at times like these. some things are just not really funny, especially to women. you have to know there will be people that look at posts like this and think, “come on… wtf???” and will voice that response. 

you meant it as silly, im sure. its not silly or comical to a lot of others. 

I’m explaining, not attacking.

 

This was my comment:

Real men look at women as more than a dick holder.

Not to mention…if you meet someone who is in a real relationship and they tell you that it is never difficult…they are actually fucking a piece of furniture.

 

Say there is a guy who is smart, good looking, responsible…but he consistently posts things like this (btw, WHY do you people let your young kids on Facebook, again??)…I would have no interest in dating this dude. Never. Not that I am a big catch, either.

It is not just a photo of a sexy, beautiful woman. It is nothing but objectification. And for a guy to identify enough with the notion to post it…no thank you. Gross. I really don’t need to be a constant witness to your personal spank bank.

What bothers me even more is some of these guys claim to be feminists. They claim to appreciate women of all kinds, types, sizes.  Yet the only images they post are naked, size zero, triple Ds – women, whom if they actually existed in real life, would never give them the time of day.

Advice. Didn’t ask? Don’t care. How about you step into reality. Posting pics like this is not going to get you laid and certainly won’t help you find a mate. Stop comparing women to porn stars and animated sex pots. Start appreciating more than a set of tits and a J-Lo ass. Have a couple intelligent conversations with women who are not only sexy – but also witty, bright, successful, respectable and kind. You are not 20 anymore. And your gut isn’t exactly GQ material (again NOT directed towards a particular person…just this “type” in general).

Lube up for whatever you want. Post whatever you choose. But know that it will reflect upon your character and I know for a fact that some of these guys have characters worth much more than what they are displaying.

I enjoy feeling sexy from time to time. It is difficult the older I get. But I can still pull it off once in a while. And I appreciate being appreciated.  But there is more to us than a piece of ass. And if you find one who isn’t – you deserve what you ask for.

Facebook: Friend or Foe?

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There are many times throughout one’s life when the person needs to reassess, reevaluate a particular segment of their life and consider its value verses its detriment. This can often result in a dichotomy which leaves the person conflicted and unsure. I am having one of these moments. And that segment is Facebook.
 
I have been on Facebook for many years now…not too long after it started being available to the open public. I have found it to be remarkable when considering how many people in my life whom I was able to be reintroduced after long, long periods of time. I think it is an outstanding tool in organizing events, finding people with similar interests and keeping up on the latest news. It is a great way to share what you feel is important to the world. And it can be simply a fun release at the end of a long day. But it has turned into more than just that.
 
More often lately I am finding myself walking away from Facebook in a worse mood from when I logged on. The hermit in me is so frequently reminded that people can be extraordinarily petty, rude, mean and argumentative.  I so often witness that the internet – anonymous or not – can be a hot bed of hostility.  Almost as often as you find someone who shares similar views and interests – you find just as many who are willing to tear down your views, interests and you as a person. It is a tough world out there and I have a feeling kids will be far beyond prepared for that once they enter the “real world” now that they have Facebook as a stepping stone.
 
Recently an old friend of mine emailed me privately and, as kindly as possible, asked why I had so many mean friends. She wondered why I have so many people on my FB who talked to me like shit. I guess I didn’t really have a good answer. After you are on Facebook for a while, friends come and go. Some you know from 30 years ago…some whom are a friend of a friend. Some may be the people you work with at your new job…hell, you can even friend your favorite band. I still haven’t figured out how to delete all the stupid groups, pages and events I have “liked” over the years either intentionally or otherwise…they still sit there like a pile of trash on my Facebook porch. Sometimes you remember why you stopped hanging out with a certain person or why you got into that fight in 7th grade. Sometimes you are shocked to find the guy who tried to devirginize you at 14 is now a Bible thumping tight ass. You may find your best old friend from the Grateful Dead concerts is now a Tea Party member. It’s crazy, man.
 
Anyway, so…this becomes my realization – that Facebook is causing annoyance, irritation, anxiety, frustration…how does that balance with the comradery, keeping up with current information/news, staying in touch with those otherwise far away, watching hilarious videos posted by your “friends” and all the other warm fuzzies which may appear once in a blue moon.  (Wow, that was a long ass sentence. Sorry.) 
 
Now that I am writing for Patch I like to have the venue of Facebook to share my writing – same with my blogs. I can also find material easier, answers quicker and many story ideas. And I really like being able to share info which I am privy to with others. I am also friends with a lot of political people who are excellent with keeping their “friends” informed. This all helps me as a writer. But the crabbiness after a disagreement, the sadness when a “friend” treats me poorly or the frustration stemming from the hateful words of others – friends and strangers…I am not sure it is worth all that. 
 
So, what do you do. Deactivate, right? I could leave Facebook all together. I am sure I would eventually get over the withdraw symptoms with some Advil, soup, a garbage can and a wet towel. I could start all over and chose my “friends”, groups, pages, etc. more wisely. But then I would have to kinda hide from those I chose now not to be friends with. I would have to be secretive and if you know me…that isn’t how I live my life.  I could keep the account specifically and exclusively for sharing and receiving information. This is the best choice…but probably the most difficult to stick to. It would be just too easy to post a question or ask advice or share some good news…it would still be so accessible. Not sure if abstaining would be possible.
 
I know I cannot be the only one with these feelings. I am sure there are plenty of people who are not NEARLY as sensitive as I am and are able to see and use Facebook as simply a means for entertainment…people who can walk away with no emotional residue whatsoever. I really envy those kinds of people. But I am not one. Toxicity sticks to me like last night’s garlic. So, I am not really sure what I am going to do. But it seems more and more clear what I SHOULD do.

Thoughts of the Day…

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Better late then never, Mount Pleasant/Sturtevant Patch was up and running by this afternoon.

I guess there were glitches this morning. But the site is now up!!
 
Here is the link to my first article:
 
And here is the link to Kenzie’s Whiz Kid piece:
 
I have also been assigned another column. So, every Tuesday I will have ‘Knowsy Neighbor’ and every Wednesday I will have ‘Frugal Family’.   I will also be doing a short piece – mostly pictures and quotes from Friday’s protest (explained in a bit). And more to come!! Please check in often and share with your friends!! If you subscribe you will get a newsletter each morning right in your email inbox.
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As I mentioned, there is a protest this Friday. Apparently there is a GOP dinner event at the Racine Marriott at 5pm. Through the grassroots efforts via Facebook, I predict the turnout will be huge. Below is the invitation to the dinner which Governor Walker (still makes me shudder to say those words) is to attend:

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I had this idea the other day and I decided to act on it for once. I sent the following letter to about 30 different union presidents, assistants, politicians, ect. :

I am writing to you today with not just a suggestion, but a request. As you may or may not know, Racine, WI has the largest Fourth of July Parade in the Midwest. Needless to say, Wisconsin has been dubbed (and rightly so) Ground Zero for a  much needed outcry of injustice in our local and national politics. I think it also goes without saying that the one crucial element of the state of Unions – public and private – is solidarity. Without it, unions will no longer exist. Another element which keeps unions in tact is organizing. On both of these aspects, there can be improvement. And now is the time to do just that. Right now people are paying attention and there is no telling how long the collective ADD of the public will remained focused.
 
In this mind set I had an idea which I would like you to strongly consider. I think that as a whole, we need to show a strong union presence in the Fourth of July Parade. If it could be organized to have all unions, again – both public and private – to walk together as one in the name of solidarity, it would send a very strong message to both supporters and opponents. We have seen the massive crowds in Madison, though downplayed in the press, and that is the only reason Wisconsin made the national news to begin with. It is in numbers where we will succeed. If we can show Racine, Wisconsin, even the Country that we can organize many unions to walk as one on the most patriotic day of the year – it would be incredible. Think of the 100s of people who would be willing to walk. The outcome would be nothing short of awesome.
 
And being in July…months from now and months before November (recall…) the public will need a strong reminder that we are here and still fighting. 100s of people from all different unions…even people not in a union who support the efforts (for example, me) all wearing solidarity shirts walking together for one purpose. I am sure you can imagine the impact.
 
Please think about this. I will be willing to do everything and anything I can do to help organize this event.
 
Also, if you could please pass this along to others who may be interested, I would appreciate it.
 
Thank you.
 
Here is the info…
No one has really responded. So I called someone from the Wisconsin AFL CIO. He told me to forward the email and that he would get it to the appropriate people. I also contacted someone with the Racine Fourth Fest Committee about the policies and procedures when planning something like this. Haven’t heard back yet but I will certainly keep you all updated. I really believe in this idea. I think it would be an amazing show of solidarity. Just think of 100s of people – men, women, young, old, black, white, woman, man…diverse yet one. The act of solidarity – no the state ofsolidarityy – is so much more than theupraisedd fists of union brothers and sisters. It is the coming together for a greater good. It warms my otherwise cold and bitter heart.
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Cassidy is so cute sometimes I just can’t stand it. The last couple days she has been leaving her room as though it is an art gallery while she is at school. She lays out all of her art – complete with prices – on her bed. She then leaves a dish for money in hopes that “customers” will come through her gallery and make purchases. See below:
 

God I love her.

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After some fighting, yelling, crying and hating…My step daughter’s mom did something I will forever appreciate. A while back I was given the advice (via Facebook…where I get all my life questions answered) to apply and fight for my WINGS acceptance with Racine Unified.  WINGS is an application form which must be filled out by any parent/guardian who wishes to go on field trips, work in the school or help in the classroom. It was always known that I would not pass the first step because of my “criminal history”. I decided to finally swallow my pride, hike up my big girl panties and reach out to someone at Unified.

I wrote a long email explaining my case and asking for their suggestion. I was told that it needed to be looked into. She first asked for the name and number of my probation officer. Keep in mind this was over 5 years ago. I did not think he would remember my case whatsoever, but I gave her the information anyway. Then she got back to me (not sure if she ever talked to the PO or not) and said that someone would need to talk to my step daughter’s mom. I said I would arrange that. I won’t get into what happen the 24 hours proceeding that…I am really trying to keep those conversations off the blog. But after a day or so of emotions, she told me she would speak to the Unified employee.

A couple days later I received an email stating that the story I conveyed to them matched with what Kenzie’s mom said and I could go ahead and submit the application. I experience quite a sense of relief. Yes, the bogus charges and my STUPID plea will always remain on my record. But at least now I don’t have to figure out ways of explaining to my daughter why the other moms can go to the Pumpkin Farm and I cannot.

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Between the RSVP volunteer writing gig (one article a month in The Journal Times) and this great paying freelance job with Patch…my brain has been on overdrive. For so many years I had little schedule to follow. I certaihaven’tvent had to think much. Now there are deadlines, conversations with strangers, learning things I have never been taught, constructcriticismtism, planning…it is overwhelming but very welcome. I just hope I can do a good job. I worry about failing or being revealed as a big poser. I fear looking stupid or being a disappointment. But I know it will be worth it.

Well, I am quite tired. So off to bed I go. Talk at ya later 😉

Droppin’ Like Flies and Losing My Steam

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It’s a sad and frustrating time. The illegal and immoral passing of the “Budget Repair Bill” aka “Kill the Middle Class Bill” is very upsetting. So many people are agitated to the point of insanity. Many sick tummies and headaches around Wisconsin as of late.

The horrible earthquake in Japan was a scary sight to wake up and see. The videos look like that of a catastrophy movie. So so awful. As bad as things are, we need to count our blessings.

I was involved in two arguements yesterday with two seperate strangers on Facebook (and YES I am considering – strongly – getting off FB altogether).  These have caused me to lose friends. Not only facebook friends. But friends I respected and cared for a great deal. Friends I enjoyed talking to, joking with and even getting together with once in a blue moon. Everyone’s tension is so elevated that it is like a brick wall coming between people by altering their vision and hearing. It is creating such anger and resentment. I have never been through anything so polarizing. I won’t get into it much, but being somewhat empathic…all of this literally makes my body ache. I feel as though I am taking on the stress and upset of everyone I come into contact with. My heart palpitations have come back. I have not had anxiety – real anxiety – in years until now. My muscles ache, my head hurts, my stomach is queasy and I cry way too often. I hate this. I hate what is happening.

A part of me wants to give up. Just turn off the computer, keep the news off, stick with my silly (non) reality shows and give up this fight. Give up having anything to do with politics and become one of the many apathetic people I see daily living in marshmellow land. I think it would be much healthier for me.

Another part of me wants to keep fighting for what I truly believe in. I want to feel as though I am doing what I can to help stop these actions which are hurting so many and will hurt so many for years to come.  I want to not feel ashamed of hiding my head in the sand while injustices are surrounding us. I want to do the right thing.

One aspect which has really irritated me is the “No Point Name Calling” convesation. If you wind up shooting a swear word or two out of frustration I can understand that. But do it while making an actual point. If you just retort with “You’re stupid” over and over…that truly makes you look…well, stupid. Here is an example…the original post was regarding the supposive death threat of one of the GOP lawmakers:

Heather Rayne – I’ll believe it when I see it. Thus far everything they have said is lies. No breaking windows no millions in damages no littering…all they do is lie.

Dude – Who’s lying? If you claim there is no littering or damage to the state capitol you are delusional.

Heather Rayne – Umm..how many times have you been there??? I brought trash bags with me the last time because ppl like YOU were saying there was a mess. Get there…NOTHING to clean up. Nothing. And damage?? He already admitted he was wrong about that!! It is TAPE on MARBLE. Goo B Gone should be good for that. Shit I’ll throw him the 30 bucks for a few bottles and clean it myself!! Keep sucking that Fox…

Dude – It amazes me how stupid liberals are.

Heather Rayne – And you know what…no at this point some of us cannot just agree to disagree because we don’t live in that kind of world. Some of us have to look out for others because so many are sticking their heads so far in the sand that there is no hope for retrieval. One day you will be thanking (though not out loud I am sure) us for sticking up for YOUR – yes, YOUR – rights. So you can be snarky and act like you know so much. But ya don’t.

Heather Rayne – Great point. You sure know how to land an arguement. Gold star in name calling. (hint…let someone else fight your verbal battles)

Dude – Well I don’t have any idea who you are, but you have no clue. You are a grade A number one idiot.

Heather Rayne – Bravo!!!!

See…I mean, really. Make a valid fucking point…even if it’s wrong…at least say SOMETHING substantial. I know I need to cut off all contact with trolls (this IS the type of behavior seen in most internet trolls) as they add nothing to anyone’s life and certainly nothing to an actual conversation. Sometimes it is just so mind numbingly difficult to sit back and watch insane lies being eaten up by the masses.

Over the past week or so I have made brief comments/posts/blogs about “boycotts”. I did not tell people to boycott. I do not think boycotting is always possible, effective or necessary. I have made this clear. How I DO feel is that if…well, let me use the tavern scenario I have used in some of my explanations. If Tavern A financially supports Walker and this bill (which was just signed into law, by the way…just as I was writing this – 10:40 am) and Tavern B does not…I would chose Tavern B. If these alternatives are possible, I will take them instead of using my dollars to finance this power hungry lying piece of shit. This is not hurting the economy because I am still spending my money SOMEWHERE. I am not boycotting entire industries. Not even sure you can call this boycotting at all. I am not taking my business to places run and owned by robots. The employees at Tavern B are people too. What is wrong with that?? Apparently a lot if you admit it on Facebook. Or ask business owners if they contributed to Walker (they don’t like that).
 
Because of this “boycott” view, I believe I have lost two friends – as I mentioned before. At least that is what initated it. Apparently now I am a total asshole because I was defending myself from a virtual verbal fisting. This woman would not stop. I would try to patiently and with civility explain my position…but she would not stop. She was provoking and even had admitted earlier to looking for a fight. Anyway, I guess her life is fucked right now. She has been dealt a shitty hand and has to work with some very douchebaggy co-workers who completely take advantage of their state union policies. Did I know this? No. Does it mean I cannot defend myself? No. Do I feel bad for her? Sure. But if you keep poking and poking pretty soon the bear WILL extend her claws regardless of your hardships.
 
I will also say that I don’t hate anything more than some fuckjerkwad who ruins needed benefits for everyone. When I see a union worker playing the part that the GOP want people to see…I want to KICK THEIR ASS. And I know some of these people personally. I will not stay quiet about it any longer either.
 
 Maybe my vision is skewed. Perhaps my increasing intolerance for bullshit is affecting my perceptions. But I cannot for the life of me see what I did wrong in that conversation. I wanted to post the thread without names, but decided against it. I guess I dont want to piss people off even more. Not now. My head hurts.
 
I responded to the original post with my simple opinion. Anyway, after that it was an onslaught of constant dinging on my iPhone with comment after comment of her baiting and provoking me….after I already stated my case quite clearly. Am I wrong…am I seeing this back and forth through a crazy person’s eyes? I am very confused. And sad. Mostly sad.
 
What this has done to the people in this state is nothing short of outrageous. The stress, the anger, the hate, the resentment, the hurt…it is devastating. What this also has created is something I have never in my lifetime witnessed. The solidarity, the compassion, the kindness, the energy, the persistence, the strength and the peacefulness (do NOT believe the lies…there has been no violence, no arrests and we are talking a month of 100s of thousands of people in a very small area) brings up feelings I do not recognize. Pride in complete strangers. Gratitude toward politicians – YES!! Politicians of all people!! I have been energized and have been doing things I never thought I would or could do. My social anxiety and extreme discomfort with crowds would normally make going to these rallies a nightmare. But it hasn’t. The good vibes and well meaning smiles seem to shield me from that feared panic.
 
Yin and Yang I guess. Duality of good vs. evil, right vs. wrong, haves vs. have nots, republicans vs. democrats…its just not so black and white as I would prefer it to be. It is much messier than that. And right now I am laying in a puddle of mud ALMOST too tired to get up, find my shoes and continue running.

Legs Are Tired From Standing Up…Is It Time To Sit?

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This “Budget Repair Bill” has changed me. Who would have ever thought that some political bill (I still imagine that cartoon scroll dancing on the steps of the Capitol…How a Bill Becomes a Law from School House Rock) would have anything to do with how I live my life, behave or feel. Honestly, I never thought anything like that would ever influence me in those ways, if at all. These changes have left me drained and depressed.

I have not spoken to my mom much these past 2 weeks. I think that it is probably semi intentional on both parts. We know we cannot discuss what is happening in Madison as she is a Tea Party supporter. And I am sure it is one of the #1 things on both of our minds. Not being able to speak our opinions (especially to each other) is extremly difficult for both of us. I can feel our relationship straining and this upsets me.

I have lost quite a few “friends” on Facebook (gained a few too…but still…). I did post that I would rather they delete me than resent me and my posts. I post A LOT. I realize this. I also realize that this is (hopefully) temporary. I feel it is one small thing I can do to help this cause I feel so strongly about. I have talked in the past about my OCDish need to fix everything. I have this overwhelming need to resolve any and all problems I come across on a daily basis. This is certainly not healthy and has exhausted me most of my life. This “bill” has thrown this characteristic into overdrive.

I am also so sad to see the true colors of people I have truly liked, loved, cared about and respected. Some for many, many years. Perhaps their support of this Governor (whom I still see as evil…I am sorry, but I do) doesn’t make them a bad person or less worthy of my appreciation. I realize that it is kinda icky to dislike a person because of their beliefs. In fact, I have stood strongly my entire adult life against just that. I could stand it when others have done this in the past. And I do not condone it…as a general rule. But that rule seems to have gone out the window for me during this time. Right or wrong, I just cannot help it. When I see a friend post something supportive of Walker, my heart sinks. I just absolutely cannot understand it. Not even a little.

All over Wisconsin people have been torn apart over this. I asked on Twitter, “Who has family/friends whom support this bill/Walker?” I received a response. “At this point? No one.” I didn’t take it as a sign that minds are being changed. I take it as a sign that relationships are being severed over this topic. The two sides are just so diametrically opposite on every level. It is hard to move beyond it. I have kinda talked about this before…but it keeps bothering me.

There is one person on FB who defriended me which has saddened me. Really, it is the only one which has caused this reaction within. I really liked her. Respected her. We have so much in common. She is hilarious and smart. This is why it was so shocking to me. Again, I just don’t understand these beliefs. AND again, I realize it is not an ideal way to weed out friendships. I never hung out with her. Our friendship was internet based…but still. It’s sad to me. But I am willing to take some responsibility. I have made my feelings VERY clear and even posted the following today:

To those who voted for and are still supporting Walker. To those who stayed home instead of taking FIVE minutes to vote: I am sorry. But when the day comes that we are living in a goddamn Red Dawn society (created by locals instead of Russians)…I WILL personally blame you. Shame. On. You.

Yea, didn’t go over well I am sure. But it really is how I feel. Maybe I won’t feel this way once things are settled and cooled off. I don’t really know. But right now…in full disclosure and authenticity…this is how I feel.

I really wonder how others are dealing with these issues throughout this ordeal.

A part of me wants to back off and stay away from the computer and news for a while…maybe for good. I feel disillusioned, disheartened, disappointed and most of all, discouraged. I wonder if it is worth the fight…can we really win this anyway? But if I were to remain silent and go back to being apathetic (sort of) I would feel I was not honoring my true self. It would really bother me and I would feel shame. I don’t know. Right now I am tired and sad. Going to bed.

Another One Bites the Facebook Dust

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Well, I deleted another Facebook friend. And I did it in the name of censorship. Isn’t ironic (said in my best Alanis sing songy voice)?! I am a number one supporter of free speech, speaking one’s mind and being free to give opinions. But I realized, there are some things I have little tolerance for and it’s my goodamn Newsfeed…I am not stopping them from spewing their junk, just stopping myself from having to be subjected to it.

Last time I deleted a person for this was due to some very ignorant talk regarding gay people. This is one example of what I will not tolerate up in my face. (Yes, I said ‘up in my face’) Racism is another. Yesterday, it was regarding abortion. What it came down to was this person announcing that those who have aborted are murderers. I understand that this is common view perpetuated mostly by the Christian religion. Being against abortion – I have no problem with. I mean I am all for being able to make a choice and if it is one’s choice to be against abortion rights, I have to respect that.

What I do not respect or understand is the immense judgment. It is so funny that a religion which claims to not judge…so many passages in their “book” tell them that only God can and should judge…yet Christians have been THEE most judgmental people I have ever met. Not all. I repeat for those who often miss many words – NOT ALL. But in my own personal experience this has been the case. The most judgmental people I have met have been Christian. Most of all Christians I have met have been judgmental. Can you really blame me for my conclusion?

I have to ask…when these fanatic pre-life people (as if I am anti-life LOL) call another person murder, what do they hope to gain? I can only imagine how many women who have been in horrible situations having to make very difficult and heart wrenching decisions (again, probably not all) read things like that and feel horrific. To be called a murderer??!! So, is that the intention? To make people feel bad? Yea, that is SOOOO Jesus-like. I am sure he’d be oh so proud.

Here is an idea. If these people care about children so much, if they feel they are so much better than the next…why are so many of them doing nothing for the children who are already HERE. I highly doubt that the majority of the people who spew this bullshit are out fostering one of the 100 of 1000s of children in the foster system.  I doubt they are at the hospitals helping feed the crack babies. I doubt they are being a big brother to a kid without a dad in sight. What are these ‘saints’ doing with their life which is benefiting the greater good and the children they claim to care so much about?

If you are against abortion, I COMPLETELY support your right to feel that way and speak about your opinion. But if you start to use offensive language to hurt people…then you will be removed from my life. Sorry, but I get to censor and filter that which enters my immediate vicinity. Thank fucking God.