Tag Archives: 2014 emmy awards

2014 Emmy Awards: My Ballot, Bitches


Oh how I love my over-blown and excessive award shows. Yes, they are filled with overpaid celebrities who love to pat themselves on the back as though they are continually curing fatal diseases. And yes, I also know that they are wasting billions while people around the world are starving and bathing in their own toilets. It’s gross on every level. But I still love them. Sue me.

So, like the big ass dork that I am, I will be watching with my ballot in hand and tears on my cheeks because for some block-headed reason – I always cry. Once in a blue moon, I am actually happy for one of these people. But usually my tears are out of jealousy because deep down I know that I am suppose to be up there giving some bullshit speech in a fancy dress with fake boobs and an empty stomach. Me, damnit! ME!


Okay. So here is my take on this year’s noms.

Best Comedy – VEEP. This was a tough one (as many are this year). But a couple of the other ones I consider more drama than comedy (OITNB and Louis, oddly enough). While those shows still make me laugh – this season, they had much more seriousness to them. VEEP simply makes me Laugh. My. Ass. Off. Honestly, I almost pee myself during every episode.

Best Drama – Breaking Bad. While I love some of the other shows, BB is and will always be one of my all time favorites. Every week was better than the previous. Each season lived up to the last. It was just perfection. And, it’s gone now (insert snot blowing sobs).  We will never be able to ‘vote’ for BB again. It better win, yo.

Lead Actor, Comedy – William H. Macy. I love Louis a lot. But for acting? Macy has this shit down. And Shameless is his best work yet. No doubt in my mind – he deserves this win as much as his character does NOT deserve a new kidney.

Lead Actor, Drama – Bryan Cranston. Come on. Is an explanation really needed? My daughter and I have been watching a lot of Malcom in the Middle lately. Seeing the spectrum of this man’s talent is mind blowing. From silly and hilarious to scary and vicious – his range is like no other. Dude fucking rocks.

Lead Actress, Comedy – Julia Louis Dreyfus. This was hard because I think Edie Falco is fabulous in Nurse Jackie. But NJ is more of a drama to me and since this is a comedic award, it has to go to an actress who cracks me up. And Dreyfus does just that. Plus, she is usually pretty entertaining when she wins awards and I could use a good laugh tonight.

Lead Actress, Drama – Claire Danes. I have said it before and I will say it again – this chic in this role…no words. Quite possibly one of the best acted roles on TV ever. I almost have a hard time believing she isn’t really bi-polar. She is THAT good.

Supporting Actor, Comedy – Tony Hale. And no! It isn’t because of my Arrested Development obsession. Hale is truly one of the funniest actors on television. And on VEEP – he makes that show as great as it is. He gets into a character and he plays the fuck out of it. And he has me in tear dripping laughter every time.

Supporting Actor, Drama – Aaron Paul. Because I said so, bitches.

Supporting Actress, Comedy – Kate Melgrew. Yea. I know I said it was more of a drama. And it honestly pisses me off that it is being considered a comedy because much of the extraordinary acting in that show (Orange is the New Black) is dramatic including Melgrew’s role. I just adored her in this season and would love to see her win – even if the category is all fubared.

Supporting Actress, Drama – Anna Gunn. She was great in the show and the other noms don’t even compare. As simple as that.

Writing, Comedy – Louis C.K. Now THIS is where is MUST win. This season of Louie was outstanding!! I mean, as stupid as it sounds – I laughed (hysterically), I cried (more like blubbered) – I always wanted more and walked away in awe. A step above what I ever would have expected. This dude wrote from another level this season. Truly beautiful stuff.

Directing, Comedy – Louis C.K. Visually, this show also took the cake. Each scene was natural yet well thought out. Gorgeous and genius.

Writing, Drama – Vince Gilligan. When I am watching a show and constantly repeat the words, “How do people think of this crazy shit??!!” That is when I know I am one jealous ass writer. I don’t know how his brain was made or how I can make mine do that – but wow.

Directing, Drama – I don’t know. Between BB, Game of Thrones and House of Cards, it is too hard to pick. I guess maybe GoT because it has to be incredibly difficult. But the other two are so well done too. I dunno. I can’t choose.

Miniseries – Fargo. If you haven’t watched, you really have to. Like now. Do it, eh.

TV Movie – The Normal Heart. A true story that is truly heartbreaking, educational and so well acted you will crap your pants.

Lead Actor, Miniseries/TV Movie – Mark Ruffalo. People say the word far too often but…AMAZING. Plus, he is my boyfriend…so…

Lead Actress, Miniseries/TV Movie – Jessica Lange. I have been telling everyone that her role/s on American Horror Story have been her best work ever. And it is true. She needs to win this.

Supporting Actor, Miniseries/TV Movie – Matt Bomer. See Mark Ruffalo (above). Same words.

Supporting Actress, Miniseries/TV Movie – Toss up. It really is between Kathy Bates and Allison Tolman. Both so excellent and deserving.

More noms – Top Chef (reality show), Daily Show (variety series, writing, directing) and Fargo (writing, directing)

So those are my thoughts. And they are accurate and correct in every way so there is no need to question or debate. Just watch tonight and you will now know when I am yelling at the television (annoying the hell out of my family) or clapping like some drooling half wit at a children’s magic show.

Oh. And here. This is for you. Happy Monday.