chilismall

Yea yea yea. So, I haven’t been here in awhile. Whadda bout it? As it turns out, one of the exciting activities monopolizing my time has been learnin’ my new Instant Pot. Good lord, I’ve become one of them. Well, I will have you know that I have yet to blow up my kitchen. So, score one for the sad old lady.

One of the recipes I have been working on has been turning out pretty tasty and, well, I thought maybe you might want to give it a go. If you hate it, that’s on you, man, clearly YOU fucked up so don’t blame me because this is delicious so there.

What you need…

Olive Oil – about a tsp or two

Chuck Roast

3 Sweet Potatoes cut into perfectly even chunks – each one exactly 2/3 inch (joking – I don’t measure shit)

3 Celery Stalks chopped

Sweet Onion chopped

Chopped Garlic – I love garlic and use enough to kill 27 vampires…just sayin’ (really, I only used 4 cloves)

Approx 20oz or so of Tomato Sauce

Beans – 2 cans of whatever floats your farts…I use black and kidney…rinse them first

2 TBS of Chili Powder (I always prefer Penzey’s for any spice because they are the bestest)

1 TBS Brown Sugar (more or less depending on your blood sugar)

1 Tsp of Cumin

1 Tsp Garlic Powder

1 Tsp Sea Salt

½ Tsp Black Pepper

Cayenne Pepper (the amount is a very personal decision and I will respect any choice that you make)

What you gotta do…

While yer choppin’ shit, put the Instant Pot on SAUTE mode. Add the olive oil.

Once the oil is hot (but not burning, yuck), brown the roast on both sides. You may need a couple of tools to flip that sucker over, but you’ll figure it out.

Take out the browned hunk of meat and set it on a plate.

Add the celery and onion to the pot and sauté for a minute or two. Then, add the garlic for another minute. Scrape the brown stuff off the bottom of the pot while stirring the veggies.

Turn off the pot, add the meat back in and then top with the rest of the ingredients. Mix it up a tad.

Close the lid. Make sure valve is closed. Press MANUAL button and set the time to 65 minutes. Once you hear the done beapy sound, you will be letting the pressure release naturally, so that will be another 20 minutes or so.

Go watch Netflix. Take a bath. Have a torrid affair. Do some fuckin thing for the next hour and a half.

Once the pressure has released, open carefully (I mean it, you do not want a face full of incredibly hot steam…unless you’re into that kind of thing).

Break up the beef, stir it all around. If it isn’t thick enough, add a slurry (lol…slurry) of corn starch and sauté on low for a bit.

Scoop some into a bowl, add condiments (cheese, s’cream, Fruit Loops, whatever) and I think you can figure the rest out.

There ya have it. It was totally worth my long absence, right? See you in a couple of months with a splendid self-dentistry tutorial.

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