In Chicago, 29,000 teachers were on strike because their corrupt union told them to. This is just another example of the sheer selfishness of these teachers. As they head back to the classroom, I hope they live in fear of losing their over-paid, over-rated jobs for good.

One of the complaints from the teachers in Illinois is the lack of air conditioning in the schools. Oh come on. What a bunch of babies. Kids have been producing in sweat shops for decades and you’re telling me they cannot read and write in a crowded room that’s 90 degrees? Please. Most of those public school kids are so fat they could probably stand to sweat out a few Twinkies anyway.

And don’t get me started on the 16% pay increase over a four year period. Sure. Maybe the cost of living in Chicago is higher than a skyscraper on stilts. Maybe many of the teachers spend as much as $5,000 a year to supply their students with the basics. But an average of $74,000 a year for salary?? With that kind of money, they probably spend their entire lazy-filled summers on their yachts and taking trips to Morocco and Italy.

How dare these teachers ask for a higher wage just because they’ll be working longer hours? Sure, I get double pay when I work overtime in the private sector. But maybe they should have chosen a better profession. And all this talk about grading papers all night. Please. How difficult can it be to write the letter “F” over and over?

These thugs are complaining about having only one nurse to every 3 schools. Why should taxpayers have to pay for nurses to take care of kids who aren’t ours anyway? They are schools, not hospitals and anyone should be able to put on a bandage.

Teachers and their supporters are worried about the privatization of schools – leaving public schools in the dust. I say go ahead!! This is one industry that has the opportunity to make CEOs and stockholders a whole heck of a lot of cashola. Let these kids do double duty as students and commodities – what’s the harm in that? Public services never did nothin’ for nobody. Those damn fire fighters are lazy wimps. Those police officers do nothing but eat donuts. And those parks? Who needs them? They are just a mecca for good for nothin’ homeless people anyway.

Oh! And they don’t like the idea of being evaluated by standardized tests? What are they so afraid of? Standardized tests rock. Corporate synergy (not sure what that is really, but I heard it on Fox) has made it easy for high-profiting corporations to bank on these tests. And we all know that when profit is a motivator, the best interests of the masses will remain a priority. And so what if some of these corporations are in bed with other corporations that will benefit greatly if public schools fail and privatization becomes the mainstream. Again…money = good. Teachers = bad.

They say it has been proven that these tests consistently reflect family wealth, physical health and neighborhood quality differences rather than school effectiveness. Well maybe that is just another way of thinning out the herd. Unhealthy kids in bad neighborhoods can work harder if they really want to and if they can’t – that is clearly the teacher’s fault. Get rid of those ineffective teachers and leave those dumber kids at the bottom where nature intended.

I have heard educators complain about the heavy police presence in schools, too many metal detectors taking up space and time and causing a distraction. I agree. Get rid of them all. After all, students should be armed. It IS their constitutional right to protect themselves. Maybe all these school shootings could finally turn into a fair fight. And in the bad schools, let them just kill each other off…less for society to worry about.

I say fire all these teachers. We can easily find a ton of jobless people on the street to teach our kids. I don’t care if they do not have the proper training or education. Anyone can do it. Hell, even my 14-year-old niece babysits. How hard can it be to sit at a desk all day, spout off about how NObama is such a great President and throw some liberal propaganda at the kids for them to read. Sure, countries like Finland have the highest scoring students and their teachers happen to be the most educated. But this is AMERICA! If you think Finland is so great – then move to Asia.

Lazy, greedy thugs. They were probably just striking to get a few extra days off from work. I think it is obvious what needs to happen. We need a war against teachers, unions and all public employees. Not only because war is cool and we can blow crap up, but also because these people are sucking money away from the people who REALLY need it…like Koch Industries, Exxon Mobile and JP Morgan. Because remember…they are people, too.

**Today’s sarcasm was brought to you with thanks to all those insightful, open-minded, compassionate commenters, bloggers and editorial writers on Patch, Journal Times and all over the internet.

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