Where the Hell Did Summer Go??

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Shame on me. Bad blogger!! Yea, I have been pretty neglectful this summer. Writing for Patch has taken most of my creative energy…not to mention time. But I am quite certain that once school begins, I will have more time for my blatherings. Lucky you!!

I have gotten some more responsibilities with Patch and I am very pleased about that. I do sometimes find myself struggling with being interesting, developing ideas and writing professionally – but I think I am faking it okay.  I am even thinking of perhaps auditing a class at Gateway just to gain some further knowledge in writing/journalism. We will see. I am not even sure if they still do that.

Kids are starting school in just a couple weeks. Man, this summer FLEW by like a hummingbird on meth. So not fair. Mackenzie will be entering Middle School this year which scares the piss outta me. I can remember so clearly that time in my life. EVERYthing seemed to change in those 2-3 years. Especially 6th grade. Sudden interest in boys, caring WAY too much what friends said, thought and did, concerned (overly) with my appearance…ugh. I just hate to think about all of that surfacing for Kenzie. Hate it.

I won’t get into it – but we had some pretty major issue regarding Kenzie and where she would go to school, her schedule and such for this next school year. Her mother has far different ideas on what is best. We finally decided to just let her try it out. She will be going to a charter school (which we disapprove of) and staying with her mother during the school week. Up until this year she has been with us a majority of the time, especially during school months. We have taken care of everything in that regard – and most others for that matter for all of these years. It will be scary to let go of that. We know that there is a strong possibility of things changing into the school year…but we will see. Her mom now has the opportunity to take the reins and do the right things. I just hope it all works out in Kenzie’s best interest. This is not the plan we wanted or thought was best – but we just couldn’t continue the constant fighting. It was really damaging our family. So we have surrendered temporarily in hopes that we were wrong.

Cassidy will be going into first grade and that FREAKS. ME. OUT. Seriously, what the fuck. She is just getting way too old. Some days I will look at her and just start crying. My intense memory does not help. I can recall every minute detail of when she was a baby…the smells, sounds, emotions…everything. It makes it difficult to put behind me and welcome her growth. A part of me just wants her to stay my lil babyhead forever. But I am not THAT insane and realize this is just life. But there will be times of kicking and screaming. And she may do a little of that herself.

We are leaving for Vegas in a few weeks as well. I planned this trip pretty stupidly considering we are leaving shortly AFTER school starts. My mom will be here with her and I am confident she can handle everything. But, really, it is not ideal timing. With mom’s and Charlie’s work schedules, it wasn’t easy to plan. Plus prices were a consideration. By the way, we really did get a good deal (about 450 for flights and 52 bucks a night at Planet Hollywood). I am sure all will be fine though. And we will only be gone for 2 school days.

We have never been to Vegas. We don’t gamble, so it seems odd that we are going. But we figured that is just one of those places you have to visit before you die. Between the restaurants, people watching and shows – we will have plenty to enjoy. Our hotel looks amazing (of course, most of them do there…). I am pretty excited…but still mostly just nervous at this point. But that is how my mental ass head works.

I worry about spending too much, it being way too hot (calling for 108 degrees when we are there!!), not having anything nice to wear, not losing weight before the trip, being ugly and fat in the land of gorgeous and naked and all sorts of other things I should try to ignore. I need to chill and just enjoy. But I will gladly listen to any Vegas advice!!!

Charlie’s reunion was nice. I loved my dress (will post some pics below). It was great spending time with my friend, Paige, while she was here. Sometimes you don’t realize that you miss someone until they return and leave again. Paige was my best friend for many years when I was younger. We were pretty much inseparable for a while there. She lives in Maine now and comes home once every couple years. Perhaps I need to make a visit out there.

Soon after the reunion I received an invite to my 20th which is next August. I am sure I will be a neurotic mess as the date approaches, but it will be interesting. I didn’t have many friends in high school and was treated like straight up shit by a lot of classmates. But I still want to go for some weird reason.

More pictures HERE
 

Alright – I gotta get back to my responsibilities (LAME)…talk at ya later.

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About Heather Rayne

I am a mom, wife, writer, volunteer, eater of food, lover of animals and avid TV enthusiast. I am opinionated, honest, compassionate and sensitive. I can also be difficult, hard headed and emotional. I consider myself to have a great sense of humor and am very attracted to that in others. I am striving to live an authentic life. I am attempting to learn how to find happiness in the now. I always have hope to be a better person. That being said - I can be vulgar, negative and even a little bitchy at times. I say what I mean and my filter is often dysfunctional. With me, what you see is what you get. I have strong opinions and am quick to speak my mind. This can cause problems from time to time but I do not ever intend to hurt or offend anyone. With that - be warned. I do hope you enjoy my site. Thanks for visiting and have a swell day.

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