Indulging Comes to an End

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You have heard of Fat Tuesday, right? This week I am celebrating the innovative new holiday known (to me) as Fat Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday…yea. Not YEA like hooray. I mean yea like…sigh. So, there is no fooling myself that these past months I have not in anyway been vigilant about my eating. I have kept up with the exercise, but I have been eating much worse much more often than I should. And the results of my neglect are now showing…at a theater near you. Seriously, the pants are a little snug, I look super bloated in pictures and its just not a pretty sight all around – and a do mean a ROUND.

The “plan” was to start my new, healthy weight loss lifestyle today. Nothing major or weird. Just back to what I did at this time last year when I lost 30 pounds. Healthy food 90% of the time, 1100-1400 calories a day, log every bite and continue with the exercise (and use a new Wii program in addition) – that’s the “plan”. I also want to incorporate 3 other rules which I didn’t commit to last time.

  • Better Sleep — I will make an effort to be asleep by 11pm — TV off (it often gets left on through the night, impairing my sleep)

 

  • Eat Breakfast!! I will be doing a fruit and veggie smoothie each morning and will try to eat small balanced meals throughout the day. Now, I barely eat anything during the day and then chow the fuck down every night. Not cool.

 

  • No night eating!! I must make a strong effort to eating nothing after 9pm. I don’t care if I have to take a sleeping pill. I need to stop this night eating habit.

 

So, this is the “plan”. It was supposed to start today. It didn’t.

We have all these snacks from vacation left over, easter candy galore, pina colada mix which needs to be used, tons of left over ham – food that I need OUT of the house before I start this diet. I have no self control and I simply cannot allow these triggers to be left in the home. Don’t shed tears for the kids and husband. They get plenty. I simply buy them snacks they like that I do not. That way I am not tempted.

While on our trip I discovered that Iowa should really be called “Stairway to Fucking Everywhere”. I am not kidding. Everywhere we went there were stairs to be climbed..and not a few steps, I am talking huffing and puffing. Yesterday on the way home we stopped at a few parks and did quite a bit of hiking. I am not a hiker and it wasn’t really the intention. But it was beautiful and worth it (HERE are pics) but HOLY HELL!! Even with all the exercise I do..I cannot believe how sore my legs are. I can barely walk!! My calves are so tight and crampy and burning. Now, I did also use the weight machine at the hotel and did A LOT that I usually don’t do (no access to equipment) and I wore heels Saturday night which I also do not do very often. So I am sure it all played a part in the reason there is NO WAY I could exercise today. Owwwwiiieeee!!! Regardless of the discomfort – I will be back on the dreadmill tomorrow. If I miss more than a day, I feel horrible about myself.

These are the reasons – not excuses…damnit…REASONS – I could not start the new “plan” today. But I have committed myself to doing this. I need to feel better – physically and emotionally. I will lose these last 10 lbs by July. I will look good for that damn reunion. I will feel better about wearing a swimsuit this summer.

As I said, part of getting back into the healthier lifestyle I will be incorporating smoothies. At least for the first couple weeks. The idea is to have a veggie & fruit smoothie for breakfast and one for lunch. A big salad and healthy dinner in the evening. The morning smoothie will also have protein (whey powder) and both will have chia seeds. I have ordered both the powder and seeds and they should be arriving on Friday. I have also ordered a new workout program for the Wii called My Fitness Coach.

So, by this weekend the junk food will be gone and my new products will arrive. I will take this week to start getting into the swing of things and by Monday the “plan” goes into full effect. I am nervous. It is like when you watch Intervention and the addicts refuse to go to rehab even though you are sitting there screaming at your TV because you know how much better their lives could be…but they are just so scared to give it up…to committ…to fail. Yea, its like that. I am out loud holding myself accountable. So failing would be quite a heavy burden. And very depressing. So, it is kinda scary. I mean, I LOVE my food, my sugar, my salt. I love going out to eat. But I know I will love feeling good about myself even more.

But I know I can do this. It was only one year ago that I lost 30 pounds, many inches AND quit smoking. If I could do that…this should be a walk in Hershey Park, right?? Cross your taste buds for me…

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About Heather Rayne

I am a mom, wife, writer, volunteer, eater of food, lover of animals and avid TV enthusiast. I am opinionated, honest, compassionate and sensitive. I can also be difficult, hard headed and emotional. I consider myself to have a great sense of humor and am very attracted to that in others. I am striving to live an authentic life. I am attempting to learn how to find happiness in the now. I always have hope to be a better person. That being said - I can be vulgar, negative and even a little bitchy at times. I say what I mean and my filter is often dysfunctional. With me, what you see is what you get. I have strong opinions and am quick to speak my mind. This can cause problems from time to time but I do not ever intend to hurt or offend anyone. With that - be warned. I do hope you enjoy my site. Thanks for visiting and have a swell day.

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