I was going through some photos on my computer – attempting to clean up, which never happened – and I came across these I do not believe I have ever seen. These are from 2 summers ago. Stirs up so many feelings.

My step daughter looks so much older and different now. The years between 10 and 14 are so changing!! I used to change her diapers and now she wears the same size shoe as my mother. I am so worried about her going into middle school. She is so smart and respectful and basically an all around good kid. I know what middle school can do to a girl. (Sigh) Boy, do I know…I WILL put bars on the windows if I have to!!

Cassadilla (one of my nicknames for her) always looks the same to me. Even her baby pictures – you see the same face. But I do see the growth and each moment I take to realize what is happening (this damn aging shit) it punches me right in the gut. She is getting far too old too fast. She is already figuring out multiplication in her head!! I love her and who she is becoming…but I miss my baby soooo much. I was watching Nurse Jackie this week (GAWD I love that show – Zoe ROCKS) and there was a soon-to-be dad who was getting cold feet. Jackie took the hat off a nearby newborn and told the guy to smell the baby’s head. It was so relatable. There is nothing that smells better. I want to smell that again (wahhhwahhh).

And then there is my husband. He looks the same. And I feel no desire to smell his head.

Ewwwww. You know what I meant!! Dirty bird.

One other feeling I get while flickin’ through these pics…I want summer so BAAAAADDD!!!!!!! Seriously, I never thought I would be longing to get out on that pain in the ass boat – but I am.

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