Seeking Advice…No, Seriously

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Today my daughter (who is 6 and in kindergarten) came home with a field trip permission slip. “MOM!! Can you come with us this time?!” “No, Cass, I’m sorry but I can’t” I answered, which is usually enough. “But why? You never do! The other moms do and you didn’t even do it in 4K!” I changed the subject in a quick attempt to distract from my obvious speechlessness. I honestly just do not know how to answer that question.

In case you are new here…I was once falsely accused and charged with child abuse. This is on my record/CCAP/background checks. In order to go on a field trip, one must first fill out a Wings application through Unified. They complete a background check with each application to screen for histories such as mine. I was once told I may be able to appeal, but the process sounded humiliating and may not even work.  That is the VERY short version of the story.

So, honestly, what on earth can I tell my daughter? I so badly wanted to be that fun, involved mom. Field trips, class mom, PTA…and it is bad enough I cannot do the things I wanted to do as a parent. But my daughter cannot have the mom she deserves. It breaks my heart and leaves me at a loss. Any advice?

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About Heather Rayne

I am a mom, wife, writer, volunteer, eater of food, lover of animals and avid TV enthusiast. I am opinionated, honest, compassionate and sensitive. I can also be difficult, hard headed and emotional. I consider myself to have a great sense of humor and am very attracted to that in others. I am striving to live an authentic life. I am attempting to learn how to find happiness in the now. I always have hope to be a better person. That being said - I can be vulgar, negative and even a little bitchy at times. I say what I mean and my filter is often dysfunctional. With me, what you see is what you get. I have strong opinions and am quick to speak my mind. This can cause problems from time to time but I do not ever intend to hurt or offend anyone. With that - be warned. I do hope you enjoy my site. Thanks for visiting and have a swell day.

9 responses »

    • The appeal would be to the school district – which I have started the process. As far as expungement – I have been on a roller coaster with attorneys, politicians and A LOT of letter writing. I have much of it written about here. But fact seems to be that there is nothing I can do about it. Unless I win the lottery and can afford a really good go getter attorney…there is nothing more I can do. Believe me, it has been 5+ years of hell and constant disappointment and regret.

  1. I’d appeal the HELL out of it. No matter what it takes. I read your story and there is NO WAY you can’t appeal so that you can be a part of YOUR daughter’s schooling. Stop at nothing. I know you might get embarrassed or you are all fought out, but this is something you absolutely need to stand up to no matter what it takes.

    That is just my take. No way you should let this situation dictate your ability to be the mom you want to be.

    • I was accused, charged and then took a lesser plea of misdeamnor battery. My attorney told me that juries do not like to hear the words “step mom and child abuse”. I had a one year old baby at home. Never even had a speeding ticket and was scared and niave. So I stupidly took the plea – out of fear. Biggest mistake of my life.

      Clearly there is MUCH more to it than that…but if interested, I have it all HERE

  2. move…small towns don’t bother with that stuff…not because they don’t care, just because everyone knows everyone’s business…not that i would want my child around a child abuser, but really, what would a child abuser do on a field trip with a bunch of teachers around anyway??? doesn’t really sound like racine has a lot to offer but problems for you…a change in environment would be good for you and what is good for you ends up being good for your child…if you’re happy, she’ll be happy

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