Because I married my husband I have allowed myself to be involved in situations which have negatively affected my life forever. Things have occurred which have had devastating consequences; things which would never have happened had I not chosen to marry him. I have had to deal with a lot from his past. These things will be with me for the rest of my life and cause great strife from time to time.
HOWEVER…I still consider myself very lucky in the husband department. After all, what has happened wasn’t exactly his fault. Yes, he made choices which made things worse for me…made choices before me which were pretty stupid and effect me now. But not to the point of fault or blame.
He has no idea what depression or anxiety is or how it can devastate a person’s life. Yet, he tries very hard not to judge me or cause me to feel “crazy”. He is very patient and understanding with my frequent mood changes, medication issues and crying spells. He’s not perfect and can sometimes say the very wrong things…but not often and not on purpose.
He works 40 hours a week doing actual physical, tiring labor. He climbs ladders high into the air and crawls through holes deep into the ground. He works very hard and has a remarkable work ethic. Yet he still helps out around the house more than any other husband I know. He is more of a neat freak than I am…so often he will just clean for no reason, without request and usually does a better job than I do.
We do not always agree when it comes to the kids, their rules, their consequences, etc. But he is a wonderful dad who spends A LOT of time with his kids. During the 7+ years I have been home with them 24/7…he has made an effort to take them places on the weekend to give me a break from being a constant “mom”. He helps them with homework, gets them to clean their rooms and while he may fall asleep at 6pm some (lol MANY) nights…he still helps every day when it comes to their care and raising.
He hardly ever tells me no. If I want to go to a movie by myself, if I want him to take me to the comedy club, if I want to plan a vacation that doesn’t require his boat…he almost always agrees happily. “Anything for you, Dear.” I have to admit, I have not and probably will never be as accomodating.
He isn’t romantic in the least. I cannot remember the last gift – be it birthday, anniversary, whatever – that he actually went out to get for me. Its usually me picking something out for myself. I don’t get flowers or cards or poems. Those things I have had to learn to live without. BUT he is loyal like no other. I can completely trust him in every way. He would never cheat on me. I know people say that in a very denial-like way…but not me. I know men cheat. Pretty much all of them. But I also know he wouldn’t. Hell, he doesnt even flirt with chics. He is the only guy who has ever made me secure in that way. So while he is not bringing home roses – I also know there are no roses as a guilt gift either.
Don’t get me wrong. We fight. And we aren’t shy about it either…so if you know us you may have even witnessed one (or many) of our spats. But we always make up and carry on. There are things about him that I cannot stand! There are things about me he really hates. But I think we both know that the positives far outweigh the negatives.
I complain a lot. Sometimes I wish I could just up and leave. Sometimes I really wish I was still single. I always joke (even tho it is not really joking lol) that I want my own bedroom or even my own apartment. I need my space and he sure knows how to invade it. But I would be a pile of nothing without him. And I don’t want to wait until something horrible happens to admit that I really do love the jerk. 🙂
So, you may not hear it a lot…but I just want to mention how much I appreciate and love my husband, Charlie. We are two Aries constantly bumping heads…but I still don’t think there could be a better fit for me.
Okay…you may now proceed with the barfing….