Bartending, Clothes, Parties and Tears

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Well…it’s Friday!! That’s a good thing, right?

Yesterday I went to 5 restaurants to apply for either a server or bartending job. The Summit, Charcoal Grill, San Fransisco Grill, Applebees and Lone Star. It was an odd experience. I just never thought I would work in the food service industry again. Not in anyway because I think it is beneath me or anything remotely like that. But because it is SO FRIGGIN HARD!! Its physically hard and even when your in a bad mood you have to be all nice and chatty. Do I seem nice and chatty to you??

Anyway, I gave them all resumes and filled out applications. Last night the Manager from Charcoal Grill called and asked me to come in for an interview today. The position for which I am interviewing is Week Night Bartender. It would be 4-10. I am hoping it can be 3 nights a week because I am having a hard time with the fact that (if I even get the job) that I will be going to work before the kids get home and they will be asleep by the time I get home. I was really hoping to find something during the day – lunch hours. But you gotta take what you can get, right?

I have been a nervous wreck. This is so outside my comfort level. I am a home body. Even going to a party or some kind of event takes pumping myself up and preparing mentally. I have become slightly agoraphobic quite honestly. It’s embarrassing, but true. Plus, change of any kind is really overwhelming for me. I know I sound like I wimp. I have been home for over 7 years now. So leaving the house on a scheduled basis, missing my family, not being here to cook them dinner, life changing so drastically and the thought of standing on my feet for 6 hours straight is all really freaking me out. Not to mention I haven’t tended bar in over a decade and even back then I didn’t do it for long or very often…I will have to learn A LOT and very quickly.

I know I am being so pessimistic right now. Only thinking of the negative things and being a total worry wart. I can tell Charlie is nervous about it too. He said he thinks it might be good for both of us because we are so stuck in a rut. I am too used to being home all of the time and he is too used to me being home all of the time. He thinks it isn’t a good thing that he is so uncomfortable about me going to work. And I know he is right. I have a tendency to get stuck in unhealthy ruts which can last many years.

So, I just gotta work through this. He keeps reminding me that if I hate it, I can just quit. I don’t know why that is hard for me to remember. I need to learn how to communicate with people face to face again…no typing in a bar 🙂 I have to calm down.

So, I have been trying to find something to wear for my interview today. It sounds like a stupid thing to worry about. But there is a reason. I did something super stupid about a year ago which still has me FUMING. For years I kept my closet downstairs full of my pre-baby clothes in hopes I would one day fit into them again. Many were new and very cute. But about a year or so ago, I let go of that dream and packed them all up and GAVE THEM AWAY. Many went to my husband’s ex in fact. So, as I sat in my size 14s and XXLs…I no longer had 2 wardrobes. Then 6 months later I started to lose the weight and I am currently the same size as many of the  clothes I gave away. I sold all my big stuff on Craigslist. Now…I have nothing. Seriously. I have one summer dress, 3 jeans, 2 sweaters and 2 shirts. That’s it. Nothing professional looking at all. So I can either wear a summer dress with heels or the trouser jeans I wore yesterday…both inappropriate for an interview. So I don’t know. Maybe I need to go buy something. I really don’t want to tho. I hate shopping and I don’t need the extra stress today.

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Two of the guys Charlie works with were fucked out of their jobs. Today is their last day. One has to transfer to Milwaukee and the other lost his job completely. Downsizing. I am beginning to feel that they take more shit than jobs withOUT a union. They are made to be in constant fear of losing their jobs. They can be told they have to work in Ohio for a month starting next week. Yet the company has management employees who virtually sit on their ass all day and do nothing. And there are tons of them between management and administrative. Their jobs seem much more secure than the guys with “union protection”.  I really do not see how their union is helping them at all. Its complete bullshit. Perhaps labor unions are an antiquated notion which has been corrupted to the point of no return.

Anyway, they are having a farewell party after work. So I will be heading there right after the interview. I will be there about an hour late. I really hope everyone isn’t a drunken mess by the time I get there. It truly sucks being the only sober one all the time. For real.

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Tomorrow is Party on the Pavement in downtown Racine. It is a yearly event which is pretty neat. It is like a huge block party…but all the way through Main and 6th Streets. Vendors, food, petting farms, carriage rides, ferris wheel, face painting, drinks, a TON of live music and just about every person in Racine is there. It really is quite the party. Each year so far (I think this is year 4??) the weather has been perfect. Sunny and warm without heat or humidity. This year, however, the forecast is not cooperating. It is calling for rain and temps in the lower 50s. I really hope Mother Nature changes her mind!!!
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I am quite upset about some stories in the news today. The story of Tyler Clementi, a Rutgers student who committed suicide after being publicly outed by his roommate when the roommate posted video online of Clemeti kissing another man. It was recorded in secret and without Clementi’s knowledge by the roommate and another friend. After this happened, he jumped off the George Washington Bridge to his death. I will write more about this later. This story is very upsetting.
 
As I posted last night, comedian Greg Giraldo died of a prescription drug overdose at the young age of 44. Again, this makes me sad.
 
Rahm Emanuel has resigned and is leaving the White House. I think he was one of the best members of the staff and I think this is a bad thing for Washington. A bad thing for Democrats and Obama’s administration. Not too happy about it.
 
 
So…with a nervous, tearful, worrisome heart…I will do my best to forge through the discomfort of today and make it as good of a day as I can. Hope you do too 🙂
 
 
P.S. I do want to give a shout out to all of those who have left me comments, replies, emails, private messages…your support and advice truly means a lot and I thank you sincerely!!! Know your words and considerations are very appreciated and not taken lightly. ((HUGS))
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About Heather Rayne

I am a mom, wife, writer, volunteer, eater of food, lover of animals and avid TV enthusiast. I am opinionated, honest, compassionate and sensitive. I can also be difficult, hard headed and emotional. I consider myself to have a great sense of humor and am very attracted to that in others. I am striving to live an authentic life. I am attempting to learn how to find happiness in the now. I always have hope to be a better person. That being said - I can be vulgar, negative and even a little bitchy at times. I say what I mean and my filter is often dysfunctional. With me, what you see is what you get. I have strong opinions and am quick to speak my mind. This can cause problems from time to time but I do not ever intend to hurt or offend anyone. With that - be warned. I do hope you enjoy my site. Thanks for visiting and have a swell day.

6 responses »

  1. I agree with the union thing. It’s definately true where I work. Administration/supervisor who are non-union never get let go. If there are issues they just find somewhere else to put them but the union employees get fired.

  2. Hi Heather, like your blog and the way you write. Good luck with your interview. I’ve worked in bars and restaurants all through college and whilst I was pregnant and when both my kids were very small. I really enjoyed the social side, hanging out with younger people and being spoken to as just ‘you’ not as a ‘mum’, but I was very tired all the time! I hope you get the job, best wishes x

  3. Hey, go in with a positive attitude. Most of the people at Charcoal Grill are pretty cool. Good luck with the interview!

    • I did 🙂 I have become and excellent actress lol 🙂 I had another interview yesterday at San Fransisco Grill. And Charcoal Grill called last night to offer a position. He left a msg and I cannot call him back until tomorrow. So…we shall see 🙂 Thanks!

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