Well…it’s Friday!! That’s a good thing, right?
Yesterday I went to 5 restaurants to apply for either a server or bartending job. The Summit, Charcoal Grill, San Fransisco Grill, Applebees and Lone Star. It was an odd experience. I just never thought I would work in the food service industry again. Not in anyway because I think it is beneath me or anything remotely like that. But because it is SO FRIGGIN HARD!! Its physically hard and even when your in a bad mood you have to be all nice and chatty. Do I seem nice and chatty to you??
Anyway, I gave them all resumes and filled out applications. Last night the Manager from Charcoal Grill called and asked me to come in for an interview today. The position for which I am interviewing is Week Night Bartender. It would be 4-10. I am hoping it can be 3 nights a week because I am having a hard time with the fact that (if I even get the job) that I will be going to work before the kids get home and they will be asleep by the time I get home. I was really hoping to find something during the day – lunch hours. But you gotta take what you can get, right?
I have been a nervous wreck. This is so outside my comfort level. I am a home body. Even going to a party or some kind of event takes pumping myself up and preparing mentally. I have become slightly agoraphobic quite honestly. It’s embarrassing, but true. Plus, change of any kind is really overwhelming for me. I know I sound like I wimp. I have been home for over 7 years now. So leaving the house on a scheduled basis, missing my family, not being here to cook them dinner, life changing so drastically and the thought of standing on my feet for 6 hours straight is all really freaking me out. Not to mention I haven’t tended bar in over a decade and even back then I didn’t do it for long or very often…I will have to learn A LOT and very quickly.
I know I am being so pessimistic right now. Only thinking of the negative things and being a total worry wart. I can tell Charlie is nervous about it too. He said he thinks it might be good for both of us because we are so stuck in a rut. I am too used to being home all of the time and he is too used to me being home all of the time. He thinks it isn’t a good thing that he is so uncomfortable about me going to work. And I know he is right. I have a tendency to get stuck in unhealthy ruts which can last many years.
So, I just gotta work through this. He keeps reminding me that if I hate it, I can just quit. I don’t know why that is hard for me to remember. I need to learn how to communicate with people face to face again…no typing in a bar 🙂 I have to calm down.
So, I have been trying to find something to wear for my interview today. It sounds like a stupid thing to worry about. But there is a reason. I did something super stupid about a year ago which still has me FUMING. For years I kept my closet downstairs full of my pre-baby clothes in hopes I would one day fit into them again. Many were new and very cute. But about a year or so ago, I let go of that dream and packed them all up and GAVE THEM AWAY. Many went to my husband’s ex in fact. So, as I sat in my size 14s and XXLs…I no longer had 2 wardrobes. Then 6 months later I started to lose the weight and I am currently the same size as many of the clothes I gave away. I sold all my big stuff on Craigslist. Now…I have nothing. Seriously. I have one summer dress, 3 jeans, 2 sweaters and 2 shirts. That’s it. Nothing professional looking at all. So I can either wear a summer dress with heels or the trouser jeans I wore yesterday…both inappropriate for an interview. So I don’t know. Maybe I need to go buy something. I really don’t want to tho. I hate shopping and I don’t need the extra stress today.
Two of the guys Charlie works with were fucked out of their jobs. Today is their last day. One has to transfer to Milwaukee and the other lost his job completely. Downsizing. I am beginning to feel that they take more shit than jobs withOUT a union. They are made to be in constant fear of losing their jobs. They can be told they have to work in Ohio for a month starting next week. Yet the company has management employees who virtually sit on their ass all day and do nothing. And there are tons of them between management and administrative. Their jobs seem much more secure than the guys with “union protection”. I really do not see how their union is helping them at all. Its complete bullshit. Perhaps labor unions are an antiquated notion which has been corrupted to the point of no return.
Anyway, they are having a farewell party after work. So I will be heading there right after the interview. I will be there about an hour late. I really hope everyone isn’t a drunken mess by the time I get there. It truly sucks being the only sober one all the time. For real.
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