****Please see update below****
My stepdaughter walked in the room and asked if she could print something. I asked what as she needed to leave for school in 2 minutes. She said she needed the lyrics to All the Single Ladies because her and 3 friends were doing it for the talent show. I laughed and told her there was no way – that it was not appropriate for a 10 year old, that the lyrics were very grown up and the dance is not ANYTHING a kid should be doing. I just assumed this was the first she was bringing it up as I cannot imagine a rational parent approving of this. But then of course she tells me that her mom encouraged her to do it.
Listen, I really want to change things on my side here. I want to make strides in my developing a healthy relationship with my step daughter and come to terms with and let go of all the resentment I have toward her mother. But I am finding it nearly impossible. I do not exaggerate when I say that there is a new issue every other day. Some kind of conflict or fight or stupid ass unilateral decision. It is constantly in my face. How can I move on when I have to sit and be witness to a woman destroying her daughter’s future?
I am learning in therapy that I do not need to forgive her or anyone else for things done to me. I understand that and it makes sense. But a part of me still wants to forgive and get to the point some day of getting along and parenting in a calm, civil manner. There are times when I just want to say, ‘Wipe the slate clean and lets start over’. But then the phone rings…or something like this happens. And then I get that angry tight feeling in the pit of my stomach yet again. I swear, this constant stress is killing me. I mean it. I feel physically sick right now.
I can’t get that You Tube video out of my head…the one that circulated a few months ago with the pre-teen kids dancing a routine to this same song. It is so horrifying for me to watch. It just epitomizes everything I stand against. I will add the video below.
I am not a prude or some Amish saint…if you know me, you sure know that. But this kind of shit is getting out of hand. Parents are letting their kids do anything they want. Parents are more concerned with being friends with their children than being responsible parents. Parents are allowing their children to dress like 20 year old strippers. Allowing make up and booty shorts. They are encouraging their children to grow up far too quickly and in the process it is sexualizing them at a dangerously young age. I cannot hold my tongue on this. I feel it is wrong, stupid and irresponsible. People need to WAKE UP and get their priorities straight – this is exactly what is wrong with society. It is not bad teachers, bad economy, bad government…it is BAD PARENTING!!
Anyway, here is the video I was talking about in case you have not seen it:Vodpod videos no longer available.
My step daughter’s mom said she never knew what the lyrics meant and she looked them up today. She said she will talk to her daughter tonight. Obviously I don’t know if it is true, but it doesn’t matter. As long as she is going to do the right thing…it makes me happy that maybe she is coming around and will start making better decisions.
Also, I need to stop being so quick to assume. My step daughter told me it was one of her mom’s favorite songs…and it is very popular (she is more into popular music than I am) so I assumed she knew the song well enough to know the lyrics. I also assumed that everyone and their grandma saw the story I posted about above. When I first heard about that story, I got so angry and frustrated that these people would allow and support that dance to happen. And those were total strangers. When I see things like that in my face…in my own home…I get furious. It was wrong of me to just assume these things and allow them to get me upset and angry before I stepped back and looked at everything. Dr. Phil always says the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. But that doesn’t mean I should automatically react.
I really hope this means there will be more positive changes.
- Girl, 6, thrown off squad over ‘booty’ cheer (today.msnbc.msn.com)
- Debate This: Young Girls Do Risqué ‘Single Ladies’ Dance (bettyconfidential.com)
- Child Kicked Off Squad When Mother Protests Cheer (blogher.com)