The other night Kenzie and Cassidy were acting VERY wild. They were rough housing, wrestling, screaming, yelling and laughing. They were both equally being crazy and annoying. Charlie and I were acting as the referees off and on when it seemed necessary – with warnings, “someone is going to get hurt!!”. Of course, they did not listen as usual.
In the middle of one of their wrestling matches, Mackenzie’s mom called her back. While she was on the phone with her, Cassidy didn’t take a break from the horseplay. While she was climbing on her (she is almost 4′ and 48lbs.) Kenzie (about 5′ and 100lbs) started screaming bloody murder into the phone. Then she would act as if she was crying and telling her mom that Cassidy is beating her up and hurting her really bad. She kept doing this over and over several times, each time acting more and more abused.
Her mom’s first response (I won’t say how we know all this, but we do) was, “What the hell, Kenzie, you are older than her…smack her!!”
Kenzie (whispering), “I can’t, Mom, I will get in trouble.”
Her mom, “Then go tell your father!!”
Kenzie, “I can’t. I will get in trouble for that too. I am not allowed to tell on her.”
Her mom (after another bout of dramatic screaming and fake whimpering), “HIT HER!!”
A second or two go by. Then she whispers even quieter, “There! I kicked her.”
Her mom, “Good.”
They talk for a little bit. She tells Kenzie she hoped she could pick her up on Tuesday if she is not still ‘sick’. She is sick almost every other time she is suppose to have her. She was also supposed to have her on Monday (yesterday) but never called or anything. She simply just left her here without a word to anyone about it.
Some more yelling at Cassidy declaring how badly she is hurting her.
Her mom asks, “Where is your dad??!!” in a disgusted voice, “tell him!!!”
Kenzie, “I can’t, Mom, they are in their room and I am not allowed to tell.”
Her mom continued to encourage her to hit Cassidy since she “couldn’t tell”.
Let me first say that there is a rule in this house about tattling. Has been for years now. Never changed. There is to be no tattling UNLESS someone is going to, is or was hurting another person or themselves. She knows this. Cassidy knows this. Everyone here knows this. Of course we would not allow either one of them to hurt the other. Never. We knew they were rough playing and tried stopping them a few times. But kids will do that…it wasn’t something i was overly worried about. Especially Cassidy hurting Kenzie as she is less than half her size and could snap like a twig.
When she got off the phone everything was fine. Nothing was said, no complaints were made, Kenzie did not act hurt or upset or anything the whole night.
Let me explain that I did not know of this conversation until the next day. So, obviously, I was floored when I heard it. She played her mother like a damn fool. And instead of asking to speak to Charlie, this ‘mother’ instructs her much larger daughter to hit and smack my kid who is 5 years younger.
I am not going to go into how I FEEL about all this. Or what I THINK about all this. As if you know me at all, you already know these things. Charlie talked to Kenzie and was pretty upset. Told her that if it is horrible around here (this is also coming after a couple days of finding out that she cries every single time her mom drops her off) did she want to stay at her mom’s all the time. We both explained to her how you cannot cry wolf like that and how accusing people of hurting you can be very dangerous. And that we will not tolerate dishonesty.
Then he spoke to Katie. I heard the crap she was saying as I sat next to him. She was yelling quite loudly for someone who was supposed to be sick. She was going on about how awful and mean we are. And how of course Kenzie wouldn’t want to come here. He asked her if she just wanted to take her full time. She said, “Nice Charlie. She should spend time with her FATHER.” I could not hold my tongue and said loudly enough for her to hear, “If it is so horrible here, why would any good mother allow or want their child to be here?? It makes no sense!!” Seriously, would you send YOUR kid some place if you genuinely thought she was being mistreated in any way?? Its such a joke. Instead of answering, she simply hung up.
I went to pick up some dinner. When I returned I was informed of what happened while I was gone for those 15 mins. Apparently she called back and was on the phone with Kenzie. Kenzie proceeded to start BAWLING like she was being tortured and was literally BEGGING her mom to pick her up. She must have said she couldn’t and Kenzie flipped out in a crying breakdown. Charlie told her to stop and that it was her bedtime in 2 hours and she had to be here at 8 in the morning so it made no sense, she was to stay here. He had to take the phone away as she wouldn’t stop her dramatic craziness. This is right after she was told how this behavior needed to stop and how it is making things difficult on everyone. She is always telling her mom how she is mistreated around her and how Cassidy can do whatever she wants and never gets in trouble. When really, Cassidy is constantly being given consequences and I cannot even remember the last time Kenzie was given one. It is all just a bunch of lies. And we cannot have her lying like that to her mom or anyone. Especially after what happened. It puts me and our family in actual danger.
After her dramatic breakdown on the phone with her mom, she ate dinner and took a shower. While in the shower she was SINGING. And after, perfectly fine and normal…not upset whatsoever. These things are big manipulative acts. She can turn it on and turn it off like a goddamn switch and it is some scary ass shit. I worry to high hell that she is headed straight for a personality disorder.
One more thing…when she was freaking out on the phone, her mom asked her if I was home. Kenzie answered, no. Her mom then said, “No wonder why you are acting like this.” Because everyone knows I am the only one who doesn’t allow for that behavior. I am the only one who doesnt fall for it. She hates that.
Charlie is at a loss. As am I. When we do not have this woman interfering in our lives or screwing up her kid…things are fine between us and everything is smooth on the home front. But unfortunately, especially during the school year, it is more a weekly…sometimes daily…occurance. It puts our marriage to the brink where I seriously consider leaving. We fight, then we have less patience with Cassidy and our whole household is ruined for a period of time. I cannot continue to allow this. I am really to the point where I think she needs to just go live with her mother full time. Let her see how life would REALLY be like over there. Let her mom see what it is like to really be a parent. Let US see what it is like to live a normal life. But, fact is, she does not want her even the days she does have her. She would NEVER take her full time.
All of this ruined what could have been a nice, uneventful, relaxing day. And I am pissed and drained.