Tuesday June 8, 2010

Standard

Today is Tuesday. The last day for school is tomorrow. Mackenzie has a regular (but shortened) school day and Cassidy’s is a short picnic at a park in the afternoon. I know I am not ready for this summer. I am just annoyed today. So, yes, I will be complaining some.

I bought gifts for their teachers – a little mini lotion/body soap set, a little pack of Ferrero Rocher Chocolates and a $10 gift card for Subway. I had the one for Kenzie’s teacher all packed nicely in a gift bag. I then take a shower. When I come out I find she decided she wanted the OTHER bag and just took everything out and balled up all the tissue paper. Not a big deal, I realize. But it was annoying. And does she even say thank you? No. And Cassidy, she has just been super obnoxious lately. She doesn’t stop EVER. Constant arguing, her room is a sty and I refuse to clean it, she doesn’t want to eat anything I make for dinner…it maybe a phase, but it is lasting too long for me and it is starting to really wear.

So, as I said, Thursday will be their first full day of summer break. As far as I know and last we heard, Kenzie will be going to her aunt’s (her mother’s sister) on her mom’s days during the summer. I have been asking for a schedule for a long time. My husband never wants to call his ex because it stresses him out as it always turns into an ordeal or big fight. Finally, he emailed her yesterday asking for an answer about the schedule by last night. We received no response whatsoever. Today, I sent an email to both of them explaining that I need to know what is going on. Charlie leaves for work at 6:30 in the morning and I need to know how she is getting to her aunt’s. I need to know what the schedule is going to be like this summer because I am trying to plan vacations, park dates, sleep overs and kiddie korner if summer school is full (another gripe – Unified still has not let me know – this is after they lost my check…grrr). I have the right to know before the day of – do I not??!! This is so annoying and frustrating and it makes me fearful of how this summer is going to proceed.

I can’t even remember if I wrote about this or not and I am too lazy right now to go look…but a few weeks ago I asked Kenzie if she knew anything about going to her aunt’s in the summer. She said she did. I asked her if she was wondering why. She replied, “Because my mom told me that you didn’t want to take care of me anymore.” My heart dropped into my stomach. Knowing full well it would hurt your child’s feelings, why on earth would you EVER say that?? ESPECIALLY knowing also full well that it is a complete lie. I try not to involve Kenzie in the grown up issues but I had to respond. I told her that I didn’t want to call her mother a liar, but it was indeed a lie. I told her I never said that or felt that way and that it was a complicated adult situation that needs to be dealt with. I just was floored. WTF.

UPDATE: I received an email before I finished writing this. She wanted to know if she ‘needed to have her brother in law (whom we’ve never met) watch Kenzie this summer.’ So, no I still wasn’t asked. It got into some back and forth and was likely a waste of time. I am so stupid. I just need to completely disengage and not care. I just do not know how to DO that. And I do edit these blogs to not give too much of her personal business away. There really is a lot I leave out. I cannot talk about my life and leave that component out completely…it wouldn’t make sense. But I do try to respect things I feel are extra private or potentially embarrassing. Just FYI.

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At 22-23 pounds, my weight loss has hit a plateau. I am exercising more than ever to jolt my metabolism…but it just ain’t working. I haven’t lost a pound in two weeks now. Yes, this is the worst time of the month to weigh myself, so I am still hoping I will have better results in a week or so…but still…it is discouraging. I need to lose at least 10 more. 15-20 would be perfect. I gotta figure out something here. Maybe try one of those detox things/diets to speed things up or something…I dunno. Its bumming me out tho.

I found this detox diet that actually sounds healthy and reasonable. I am thinking of doing this next week…………

The UltraSimple Diet

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I started writing this in the morning. It is now almost 5pm. I got caught up with dumb stuff and never really got back to this. So, I will write more this week when I am not so flippin’ exhausted…I actually feel like I am coming down with something. Maybe it’s the weather (cold and raining ALLLL day) but I feel like dookey.

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About Heather Rayne

I am a mom, wife, writer, volunteer, eater of food, lover of animals and avid TV enthusiast. I am opinionated, honest, compassionate and sensitive. I can also be difficult, hard headed and emotional. I consider myself to have a great sense of humor and am very attracted to that in others. I am striving to live an authentic life. I am attempting to learn how to find happiness in the now. I always have hope to be a better person. That being said - I can be vulgar, negative and even a little bitchy at times. I say what I mean and my filter is often dysfunctional. With me, what you see is what you get. I have strong opinions and am quick to speak my mind. This can cause problems from time to time but I do not ever intend to hurt or offend anyone. With that - be warned. I do hope you enjoy my site. Thanks for visiting and have a swell day.

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