Monday May 10, 2010

Standard

So let’s just say that Friday and Saturday were ROUGH. We had it out. Aggressively ignoring each other more than anything really. And I decided to make a statement by packing a bag and leaving. Though I did tell my daughter within his ear shot that I would be home in a little while. I just drove down to the lake and watched the waves. It was windy and cold…it felt like autumn. He got mad and left with Cassidy. So, I returned to an empty house and laid on the couch for about 3 hours waiting for them to return. I had that same sick feeling in my stomach when I used to stand in the window for hours waiting for my Dad to pick me up on his weekends. But it was my fault and I shouldn’t have left in the first place. Even though I had every right to be angry, I shouldn’t have been so passive aggressive about it. When they returned, he didn’t say a single word to me and went to bed. So, needless to say in went on into the morning and we finally came to some agreements – made some apologies…and some stuff…just cannot fix at the moment.

That afternoon we went to my parent’s and went out to lunch with them to a place in Rochester. I won’t mention the name of the restaurant (and it was actually my choice…I had a coupon LOL) but the food was icky and the place felt, smelled and looked like an old folks home. Live and learn.

On Sunday, Mother’s Day, Cassidy was acting terrible all day. I don’t know what is with her lately. She is so overly hyper and defiant. I think she gets too bored with us on the weekends when Mackenzie isn’t here. Charlie, thankfully, was very nice all day. He made me a sweet card on the computer, helped Cassidy make me a card and a video (I posted the card from Charlie and the video here) and took me to brunch. Then he took Cass to his mom’s and his stepmom’s to drop off their cards/gifts while I got to have 2 hours of quite time while I watched a cheesy Lifetime movie.

So, for now, things are okay. We made a deal about the summer and he has to talk or write to his ex about it. So, we shall see when that happens. But it WILL happen. Things WILL be changing.

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I lost another 4 pounds and that brings me to just about 20 pounds since the last week of February. It has been so hard and I still have a lot of work ahead of me. I would really like to lose at least 10 more and toning is definitely in order. I really hope I can stay motivated. I would really like to actually spend some time in an actual swim suit this summer. Then maybe this summer, I can spend some more time on this friggin boat for which we paid too much money!!

**********************************************

Here is another video Cassidy made. She is going crazy with this webcam recorder LOL. Anyway, this video is so strange. And she keeps apologizing (I think because she was being so naughty yesterday). Anyway, she is such a ham and she cracks me up!!!

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Well, that’s all for now…talk at ya later.

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About Heather Rayne

I am a mom, wife, writer, volunteer, eater of food, lover of animals and avid TV enthusiast. I am opinionated, honest, compassionate and sensitive. I can also be difficult, hard headed and emotional. I consider myself to have a great sense of humor and am very attracted to that in others. I am striving to live an authentic life. I am attempting to learn how to find happiness in the now. I always have hope to be a better person. That being said - I can be vulgar, negative and even a little bitchy at times. I say what I mean and my filter is often dysfunctional. With me, what you see is what you get. I have strong opinions and am quick to speak my mind. This can cause problems from time to time but I do not ever intend to hurt or offend anyone. With that - be warned. I do hope you enjoy my site. Thanks for visiting and have a swell day.

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