Today I had an appointment with 2 attorneys. They were very anxious to hear my story as they stated they would absolutely love to sue the county. First thing one of them said was that he was going to ask a whole bunch of questions and not to interrupt or ask why he is asking. I said fine. He proceeded to ask many basic questions. However, in the midst of the “interview” he also made comments I felt were very rude and unnecessary. I knew I should have never gone. I feel 100 times worse than I did before.

The other attorney mostly took notes, I was also being recorded. The main guy asks me how old I am. I tell him, 36. He then says, “Oh, well…you look much younger than that. And you dress and act younger too for whatever reason…” What?? I had been in there for like 2 minutes. How on earth would he know how I “act”? And dress?? I am wearing a nice pair of dark trouser jeans, dress shoes and an argyle cardigan. What a young whipper snapper I am. Yea, the guy was like 70…but still!! And a little later he asked me what my longest paying job was. I had to think about it since I have been out of the workforce for over 7 years and started working at 14. He then snapped, “That is an easy question; you shouldn’t really have to think about it.” During the conversation I had made mention that Charlie and I were married by Rev. Tony Larsen at the UU Church. He made some comment about Tony being sinful and he didn’t like him. Nice.

They both said they felt really bad about my situation which was obviously not a child abuse situation and was clearly done out of manipulation. But he had said that he didn’t understand why I didn’t defend this to the fullest at the time instead of taking the plea. I told him I regret that everyday but couldn’t make such a risk with a one year old baby at home.

Then at the end, they said they cannot help me because we cannot prove that even if Mr. O’Brien HAD made a reasonable investigation, that it wouldn’t have still been prosecuted. No, I cannot prove it. But deep in my heart, I KNOW it. There is not anyone who could come into this house, meet my family, talk to the kids and even for a second think I was an abuser. “Well, at least it looks like you are doing okay in life now…” said the other attorney. “I cannot get a job. I cannot go on field trips with my child. I am not okay.” Again, they apologized. But my case wasn’t a big money getter for them so they shooed me on my way.

I feel judged and violated all over again. I am embarrassed, sick, angry and so upset. I did not expect much from this. I didn’t even WANT to really sue anyone. I just want this off my record. But I also did not expect to get treated the way I was treated. Again. I can’t take it anymore.

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