Tuesday March 9, 2010

Standard

I wasn’t going to put this out there, because I do not want my visitors to stop well, visiting! As most of you know, at this time in my life, I basically have no life. No real life friends in town, no job, no school, no social interaction really at all. I don’t want to become the subject of one of those scary 1950 experiments proving how lack of communication can turn a person into a grunting ground animal. SO I spend way too much time on Facebook, tool around with my lil website and TRY to keep in touch with old friends by email (I am sooooo not a phone person, probably because the grunting animal thing is already starting to kick in). Because of all of this, I find pleasure in knowing that people visit my site…some even leave comments or emails. I like knowing that a little hobby that I actually pour my heart into thru the things I write is worth something. Most of my family and acquaintances think it is basically stupid. And I get MANY reasons why it is stupid. Well, you know what? The couple hours of virtual interaction each week MAY just be keeping me from either leaving far far away forever or stabbing someone in their sleep. So fuck off, Reg (that was my Billy Connelly impression).

 

Okay, I went off on a tangent. Do you work at Modine? Someone does. There is someone from Modine Manufacturing who visits my site on a regular basis. I have racked my brain trying to figure out who I know at Modine. I even had a few dreams about it because it was on my mind…the wondering. Old friend? Complete stranger? Man? Woman? Stalker? WHO?? I have not even come close to figuring it out. This Modine person is one of two ppl (that I can tell…explanation below) who visit a lot. However, I know who the other person is…even though they basically refuse to acknowledge me even tho I have reached out personally. People have the right to visit any site they want and I know it is nice to have that anonymity while online – probably one of the best things about it for some ppl (not me obviously lol). So, I really didn’t want to say anything because I didn’t want to stop these two from visiting whenever they wanted. And there is certainly NO obligation or expectation for ANY visitor to make themselves visible. And for the most part, there is no way to keep track of 99% of my visitors. I use a free stats program that is basically useless. The only time it shows any real information is when the IP is coming from a business/organization or…school… (cough cough). Not all, only some. Anyway, I should have kept it to myself…but I just couldn’t hold it in any longer. I have the patience of a DMV employee and the curiosity of a 2 year old.

 

So, Modine person. I would like to tell you that it would be nice to know you…or at least who you are and why you like my site J But, like I said, it is your right to stay anonymous to me. And I don’t want you to think you need to stop visiting. This will be the last I mention it.J So basically, this is just my shout out to you – Yo!! Modine!!

 

Now…other person. Your privacy is important. I will respect that. I only wish that you felt comfortable enough with me to connect with the actual ME once in a while. Not to act almost bothered and too busy when I reach out by sending an email. And you act as though you have no clue why I would think it would be okay to contact you. I figured if you were visiting my site so often, that MAYBE you might want to chat once every 10 years or so. But if not…that’s cool. I get it. I was always much more interested in a friendship of some kind than you were. I know you. Too well. And if you feel more comfortable behind the curtains, then that is really – seriously – fine. Its kind of a bummer, but I gots my big girl panties on…so I can deal. Please do not feel the need to stop visiting. I would hate that even more. At least I feel a little connection this way. And above it all…I wish you the very best…always.

 

 

Just my lil note for this morning. I will try to write more later…Oscars, Hurt Locker Review, Cassidy the Monster, Afghanistan…I really DO have things I want to write about…I just get so lazy. But I will make an effort…later. Right now, I have a brawl to break up and a Slim Fast to drink. Ahhhh…just like I dreamt as a child…. (grumble grunt grumble)

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About Heather Rayne

I am a mom, wife, writer, volunteer, eater of food, lover of animals and avid TV enthusiast. I am opinionated, honest, compassionate and sensitive. I can also be difficult, hard headed and emotional. I consider myself to have a great sense of humor and am very attracted to that in others. I am striving to live an authentic life. I am attempting to learn how to find happiness in the now. I always have hope to be a better person. That being said - I can be vulgar, negative and even a little bitchy at times. I say what I mean and my filter is often dysfunctional. With me, what you see is what you get. I have strong opinions and am quick to speak my mind. This can cause problems from time to time but I do not ever intend to hurt or offend anyone. With that - be warned. I do hope you enjoy my site. Thanks for visiting and have a swell day.

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