Wednesday March 3, 2010

Standard

March is here. That means the new and improved Heather should be right around the corner. Let’s see…I will giver her until May 20th. That seems to be around boating time…so we’ll go with that okay? Seriously though, being able to see the sun more often and having temps over freezing does start to get me feeling better. I honestly believe that for health’s sake, I should not spend the rest of my life in Wisconsin. My mind and body needs to feel warmth, see sunshine and have a REALLY good reason for getting laser body hair removal. Just sayin’. 

 

But for now…I am here. Sittin’ in this same goddamn chair. And YESSSSSSSSS I know it’s my own fault…that I need to get out and live life…that I need to simply DECIDE to be happy. Okay, Dr. Phils?? I know. But I’m tirrreeddddddddd. Fuck you. It is an excuse. Okay, not a good one. But I am trying.

 

Day 10 off the Cymbalta. About one month without smoking…well, with a couple very minor relapses. I am really trying to eat better and I am exercising probably double as much as I was. I also lowered my heart medicine as that is the biggest offender when it comes to weight loss interference and weight gain itself. The cardiologist said it was okay to wean down until I am off of it, but as soon as I feel any tachycardia or palpitations – I will have to go right back on it and then it will probably be a forever thing. So I am doing it. I really need to get this weight off by summer. It has to be my number goal right now. I’ve been watching Housewives of OC and I have decided that maybe…I kinda…sorta wanna be a MILF. LOL. Well!!! What aging woman doesn’t deep down? (cough)

 

So. Okay…not sure if I ever wrote about this…but here’s a boring little story. I used to visit a particular local blog site where you kinda got to know the regulars. One of the other regulars was a guy who was my political polar opposite. But he was respectful and very funny. So, for a little over a year or so we talked now and again either on the site or by email. I really enjoyed our little friendship even tho we had never met or really even spoke that often (by speak, I mean type).  So, a couple months ago I noticed he had “de-friended” me on Facebook. I asked him why. He said his wife was freaking out and he didn’t want to deal with it. But that he still wanted to talk once in a while, that it really wasn’t a big deal. Having forgotten about that, a few weeks later I get an email saying he can no longer talk to or be friends with me. Said he really isn’t allowed (not sure if that was the term or not) to be friends with women she isn’t friends with as well. I was sad. Miss talking to him and our sarcastic jabs at one another. This is one of I think 3 stories I have VERY similar to this one.  Maybe I cannot put myself in their shoes. I mean, my husband’s only real relationship before me was his daughter’s mom. And I see her at least weekly and is just a part of my life. I HAD to accept it and get used to it. Plus, I think she is way better looking than I am…so I had to try to get over that quickly too.  I went from being a super jealous person in my 20s to barely observant in my 30s. LOL. Is that bad? Also, I would be really pissed if Charlie told me that I couldn’t talk to someone. So I try not to give him any shit about the ex “girlfriends” on his Facebook.  I dunno. It annoys me. It is so much easier to find guy friends.  It’s just nearly impossible to keep them. Why is that??

 

Tomorrow I have to go in for Cassidy’s Parent Teacher Conference. I always dread it. Sitting in those little chairs…I always feel like I’m going to get in trouble lol. I am sure it will be a good report though. She is so amazingly smart. I know everyone says that…but really. She says things sometimes and I have to do a double take and ask her, “What did you just say?!” Crazy.

 

Anyway….going for now. Gotta hit the dreadmill soon.

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About Heather Rayne

I am a mom, wife, writer, volunteer, eater of food, lover of animals and avid TV enthusiast. I am opinionated, honest, compassionate and sensitive. I can also be difficult, hard headed and emotional. I consider myself to have a great sense of humor and am very attracted to that in others. I am striving to live an authentic life. I am attempting to learn how to find happiness in the now. I always have hope to be a better person. That being said - I can be vulgar, negative and even a little bitchy at times. I say what I mean and my filter is often dysfunctional. With me, what you see is what you get. I have strong opinions and am quick to speak my mind. This can cause problems from time to time but I do not ever intend to hurt or offend anyone. With that - be warned. I do hope you enjoy my site. Thanks for visiting and have a swell day.

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