Friday July 13, 2007 – ooooo scary…..

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Long time, no write. Man…what a busy time it has been!!
 
Charlie was off for 11 straight days and went back to work on Wednesday. Things are starting to feel normal again, but not quite. I am sure next week Cass and I will get back into the swing of things.
 
During that time I did not get on the computer much…and I actually liked the break!! We remodeled our small bathroom and it looks great. I have some pictures in the July 2007 Album. And I bought a new Story People print for above the john. I just love it. I love all of them though. I am not a huge ‘artsie’ person…but I just love those prints. Here is a picture of the one I purchased:
 
 
 
 
It is a bit hard to read here, but this is what it says:
 
Make sure you got clean underwear, she always said, in case you get in an accident & I always figured that’d be the least of my worries, but now I’m older & I see there’s a lot you can’t control & some you can control & clean underwear is one of those you can. For the most part.
 
I just love it. My favorite is also in there on another wall. That one says:
 
What are the rules? I said & she said, Do exactly what I want whenever I want, make no demands of me whatsoever & love me forever, no questions asked & I said, how do you win? & she said, you don’t understand. I’m the only one who wins & then she laughed & clapped her hands. Isn’t it a great game? she said.
 
Anyway, I love the new bathroom and the hardwood flooring.
 
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We had a cookout on the Fourth of July. It was nice. I was BEAT tho. I started cooking and cleaning 2 days prior. Charlie was working on the bathroom and new back door. I made WAY too much food. But it was a nice time. Wish people had stayed longer. So much work into it and everyone had to leave by 4. It was a long day for everyone, I know. Plus people had other engagements as well. I was so happy to see my friends John and Tom who I hadn’t seen in a long time as well as all of our family.
 
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I have really been stressed out lately. So last Sunday I went to Pleasant Prairie to stay in a hotel for the night. It was relaxing. I ordered two movies – Waitress (soooooo excellent) and Reign Over Me (also good, but not quite as good). I got some room service. I painted my nails. And I just lazed around. It was nice, tho I have to admit…not nearly long enough to get over all this tension and stress. Hopefully our trip to Florida will be long enough for that. That is early fall. The next day Charlie and Cass came down to get me and we went swimming in the hotel pool (it was almost 100 out those 2 days) for a while, walked around the outdoor outlet mall and got some lunch. It was a good day.
 
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An old friend of mine – one of my best friends in life – got married at the end of June. She moved out to Maine years ago and I see or talk to her very rarely. Paige and I lived together for a while when I was 18 (and stupid and irresponsible). After that, we never seemed as close…which made me very sad as I felt I was the cause of that. She was a bridesmaid in my wedding 4 years ago and does make it home to visit every couple years. Anyway, she was in town this week for a visit after her wedding. She had a casual reception for her Racine people at the Yacht Club. It was so nice to see her and meet her family. I had never met her husband before now and he is really nice and seems very down to earth. Her 6 month old daughter is SOOOOO adorable. I almost thought about baby-napping her. Anyway, they left this morning and I am bummed. Didn’t get much time to spend with her. And if you read my posts regularly or know me fairly well…you know I do not have many friends. I have had a handful of very close friends in my life and they all seemed to have half way disappeared. Paige, Kim, Tony, Kevin, Erin, Tina, Laura…if I hear from them at all it is via email. They are all out of Racine now…expect Kim And Kevin may still be here…not sure. Anyway…it is hard to make new friends. I want REAL relationships and am not good at the whole surface fakey fake thing.
 
ANYWAY….I will miss Paigella. And I hope it isn’t too long before I see her again.
 
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I am really at a crossroads, I feel. Either I decide to stay stagnant and make no changes in my life right now. Or I really pursue getting a part time job (had a phone interview this week for a CSR at Johnson Financial). Or I may take a two day Reiki class after which I (if everything goes well) can practice Reiki on others. The Reiki class is about 150-200 bucks and I just don’t know if I want to spend that not knowing how I will feel about it all or how it may affect my anxiety or heart issues. With getting a job…I haven’t worked in 4 years about. To have to wear office clothes, be on a schedule, bring Cass to daycare much more often…it is all just scary. The typical Heather wants to take the easy (but not always easy) road and stay put until Cassidy starts school. But there is a lot that can be gained by getting out in the world again. Adult interaction, extra money (which we seriously could use) and just using my mind. I don’t know. I think I am waiting for some big sign. Think it will happen???
 
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Well, ’bout time for me to get some stuff done now that she is down for her nap. Talk at ya later 🙂
 
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About Heather Rayne

I am a mom, wife, writer, volunteer, eater of food, lover of animals and avid TV enthusiast. I am opinionated, honest, compassionate and sensitive. I can also be difficult, hard headed and emotional. I consider myself to have a great sense of humor and am very attracted to that in others. I am striving to live an authentic life. I am attempting to learn how to find happiness in the now. I always have hope to be a better person. That being said - I can be vulgar, negative and even a little bitchy at times. I say what I mean and my filter is often dysfunctional. With me, what you see is what you get. I have strong opinions and am quick to speak my mind. This can cause problems from time to time but I do not ever intend to hurt or offend anyone. With that - be warned. I do hope you enjoy my site. Thanks for visiting and have a swell day.

2 responses »

  1. Enjoy your week~
     
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    g.j.

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