On Friday my husband’s ex called him and asked if we could take their daughter Saturday night. Usually, we never have plans on the weekends. And we have told her to call us if she needs a sitter (she has her Friday and Saturdays nights), but to give us some notice. This time we actually did have plans to go to dinner for my step father’s birthday at a nice restaurant. He told her that we would have needed some notice to change the plans. She got angry, of course. And once again threatened to change the schedule AGAIN.
About the schedule…we have my step daughter Sunday night thru Friday evening. It gives her the stability and consistency she desperately needs through the school week. We spoke to her counselor about this since her mother is always threatening to change the schedule to work better for her (she complains about having to have her every weekend – um..hello? What if you weren’t divorced, you would have your kid 24/7). Anyway, her counselor said that the schedule we have needs to stay in place and it is obvious she is doing well with it. My husband told her mother this, but she doesn’t care.
So, the weekend comes and goes. We find out on Sunday night that instead of changing her plans to go to a bar to see a band, her mother left her with a 17 year old boy she doesn’t know at all. He is the son of a friend of her brother in law. She knows nothing about him. My step daughter, who is 7 today, stayed with him all night.
After hearing all of that, I went to my room and cried. I know what is out there in the world and I personally know what can happen to kids in situations like that. I would be mortified if that happened to her. Putting her in that situation is incomprehensible to me.
When my husband put the kids to bed I told him to call her now. I told him that if she ever in that circumstance again and refuses to cancel her plans to tell us and we will cancel ours. I hate making things easy for her time and time again. She complains all the time about how hard it is to be a single mom. She is so NOT a single mom. She has her daughter 2 nights a week and doesn’t take care of a single responsibility. I would love for her to see how hard being a parent REALLY is. But not at the expense of my step daughter.
But I have to tell you – I don’t know how much more I can take. Watching all of this. Having little say in anything. Having no respect from my step child or her mother. Having little understanding from my husband. While he wasn’t thrilled about the babysitter choice, he didn’t see why I was so upset.
How bad is this going to get? She is only 7. What decisions are going to be made when she is 10, 14, 16?? It makes me terrified.