Nine years ago today my father passed away. He was 46. I was 23. I miss him constantly even though I did not spend the time I should have with him when he was here. A deep regret I will always have trouble facing.
Last night I had a dream about him. Unfortunately and surprisingly I do not dream about him all that often. I wish I did as I like to pretend those dreams are actually ‘visits’. I don’t remember last night’s dream all that well. I only remember him being there and I think I was cooking for him, which I never got to do in life. I also was staying at his and my step mother’s home. I remember I was waking up – in my dream and I couldn’t figure out where I was or how I got there. I then realized I was at my dad’s and that he must have carried me to bed when I fell asleep. That is all I remember.
Saturday was his birthday and today is the anniversary of his death. Obviously, an emotional week as I seem to be extra sensitive during these times for some reason. My family doesn’t quite understand it. They see it as just another day. I do not.
Anyway, I love you dad. Visit me often. More often! I miss you so much. And I hope you watch over your grand daughters. I am sure you love them just as they would have loved you.