Remembering My Dad – Nine Years Later


Nine years ago today my father passed away. He was 46. I was 23. I miss him constantly even though I did not spend the time I should have with him when he was here. A deep regret I will always have trouble facing.


Last night I had a dream about him. Unfortunately and surprisingly I do not dream about him all that often.  I wish I did as I like to pretend those dreams are actually ‘visits’.  I don’t remember last night’s dream all that well. I only remember him being there and I think I was cooking for him, which I never got to do in life.  I also was staying at his and my step mother’s home. I remember I was waking up – in my dream and I couldn’t figure out where I was or how I got there. I then realized I was at my dad’s and that he must have carried me to bed when I fell asleep. That is all I remember.


Saturday was his birthday and today is the anniversary of his death. Obviously, an emotional week as I seem to be extra sensitive during these times for some reason.  My family doesn’t quite understand it. They see it as just another day. I do not.


Anyway, I love you dad. Visit me often. More often! I miss you so much. And I hope you watch over your grand daughters. I am sure you love them just as they would have loved you.


About Heather Rayne

I am a mom, wife, writer, volunteer, eater of food, lover of animals and avid TV enthusiast. I am opinionated, honest, compassionate and sensitive. I can also be difficult, hard headed and emotional. I consider myself to have a great sense of humor and am very attracted to that in others. I am striving to live an authentic life. I am attempting to learn how to find happiness in the now. I always have hope to be a better person. That being said - I can be vulgar, negative and even a little bitchy at times. I say what I mean and my filter is often dysfunctional. With me, what you see is what you get. I have strong opinions and am quick to speak my mind. This can cause problems from time to time but I do not ever intend to hurt or offend anyone. With that - be warned. I do hope you enjoy my site. Thanks for visiting and have a swell day.

2 responses »

  1. Pingback: So, The Guy Actually Taught Me Stuff | Ramblings of a Neurotic Housewife

  2. where ever you look he`s there, where ever you breath he`s there, when your eye`s are open or close he`s holding your hand and thinking , i`ll never leave you,    it`s a nice feeling to have , so feel his hand no matter where your at, ,   an angel at your side

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