Okay, so my blogs have been depressing and negative lately. You think I don’t know that? I just want to know one friggin thing…when is it going to be MY turn?
Yesterday I was watching John Edward Cross Country. I have looked at his website in the recent past for ticket information for his seminars only to find out the ones closest to me were already sold out.  Well, yesterday while I was watching, "Ebay" just popped into my head. I put it off and kept watching. But there was like this nagging voice that kept telling me to check now. So I paused the show and checked for tickets on Ebay. There was one listing. It was for Chicago. The nearest venue to me that he visits. In my mind it was a sure sign. This was my chance. Not necessarily to be read, which would be wonderful beyond words, but just to be there in the presence and feel the emotions around me…I know how much that would change my life. I called my mom and she agreed that she would go with me, my husband agreed to drive, and my future sister in law agreed to babysit. The plan was to bid on these tickets on the last auction day which is the 8th.
Today I checked the auction. It is already up to $610. There is no way I can afford that and it would be extremely irresponsible to spend that.
Now, I am in tears. Feeling sorry for myself, feeling as though nothing ever goes my way…that I never catch a break.
Perhaps there is no intuition. Perhaps the ‘sense’ I thought I was beginning to cultivate does not exist. There was no voice. Just another hopeful thought waiting to be dashed by my own freaking reality which consists of constant disappointment.
Boo-Freakin-Hoo…yeah yeah yeah…I don’t care. If you don’t want to hear me whine then close the stupid page.

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