Okay…I am Committed…or Maybe I SHOULD Be Committed

I just finished filling my weekly medication container. You know the kind…the plastic with the flip top lids for each day of the week…I am sure you have seen one at your 85 year old grandmother’s house. Anyway, I just filled mine for the next 7 days. Starting tomorrow I am taking my new heart medication. I was suppose to start a week ago, but have been procrastinating big time. I am so terrified about taking this new medication. I honestly have a fear that I can die from this switch. Why? Why am I so paranoid? Why do I have to catastrophize every little medical thing in my life? Okay…so here is what I am afraid could happen…
1. Die
2. Go into a scary arrythmia and have to go to ER to be converted
3. Have more tachycardia and palpitations (that the med won’t work as well as the one I am on now)
4. Heightened anxiety (have already been told this is quite likely)
5. That I will gain weight
Okay. Those are my fears. I need to TRY to be more positive. Say things like
1. You will feel so much better on this new med
2. You will be able to breathe easier
3. You will have a ton more energy
4. You will be able to exercise more
5. You will lose weight easier
6. You will have less palpitations
7. You will not notice any change in anxiety
So, why are those harder for me to accept?? Ugghhh..I really annoy myself.
If I live, I will let you know how it goes. If I don’t well, love ya miss ya.

About Heather Rayne

I am a mom, wife, writer, volunteer, eater of food, lover of animals and avid TV enthusiast. I am opinionated, honest, compassionate and sensitive. I can also be difficult, hard headed and emotional. I consider myself to have a great sense of humor and am very attracted to that in others. I am striving to live an authentic life. I am attempting to learn how to find happiness in the now. I always have hope to be a better person. That being said - I can be vulgar, negative and even a little bitchy at times. I say what I mean and my filter is often dysfunctional. With me, what you see is what you get. I have strong opinions and am quick to speak my mind. This can cause problems from time to time but I do not ever intend to hurt or offend anyone. With that - be warned. I do hope you enjoy my site. Thanks for visiting and have a swell day.

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