One year ago…..

Standard
After about 2 hours of sleep tops, I dragged out of bed. There were jumping monkeys in my stomach and a boulder in my throat. My nerves were so high, the hairs were standing up on my arms. We didn’t have to be to the hospital until about 9:00am, so we decided to get ready and head to Denny’s for breakfast. That was to be my last meal for about 35 hours. I had one poached egg and nibbled at my toast. I wanted to eat, but my stomach wouldn’t let me. Boy, would I regret that later.
 
Baby was 2 weeks late. Doctor decided to induce me on the September 15th. That was my Grandma Rose’s birthday, so sounded like a good day. I didn’t mind being pregnant and wasn’t in all that much of a rush to deliver. She was very easy to take care of in there. No screaming. She let me sleep. And I ate all the M&Ms I wanted (another regret I would have in the future). But alas, the day had come. She had to come out whether we liked it or not.
 
We got to the hospital and had to wait in a small room as they prepared my labor and delivery room. We watched tv as I tried to calm myself. We walked the halls, hoping to spark some dialation which hadn’t happened as of yet. We finally got all settled in the room where I would be for the next 29 hours. Right away they inserted (yes, inserted) a tablet called cytotec to begin the dialation. My mom and stepdad had arrived and we all played cards and watched tv. Charlie, my husband, ran home to get some things we had forgotten. Not quite 2 hours after the ‘insertion’ I started getting really bad cramps. Contractions I suppose they were. One right on top of another. They came fast and strong. By the time Charlie got back to the hospital I was asking for something for the pain. I was still not dialated worth a damn, so they didn’t want to give me an epidural yet. Apparently they were too busy stirring the cauldren and cackeling at my severe pain. (Most of the staff were actually very nice…but a few in the beginning just seemed to refuse to believe how much pain I was in). They brewed up some stadol instead. I got pretty loopy, also pretty nauseated. It didn’t touch the pain. I was begging for the epidural. Finally, my Doctor came to check on me. He demanded they give me the epidural and even seemed annoyed that they were refusing me. I finally got the jab in my spine and the relief was unspeakable. I was on cloud nine – hell, ninty nine. I sure thought it was going to be smooth sailing from there. Ha. The calm before the storm.  The tease of a lifetime.  A cruel joke from the Gods. 
 
I was great for about 3 hours. I felt NOTHING. I watched tv, talked with family, had a few visitors, joked with nurses, and ate some popcicles. I even fell asleep. Charlie, my mom, and me were asleep in the room.  Then BAM! The earth opened up and released the evil demons there to torture me.  I woke up in the worst pain. It wouldnt stop. It was constant. The epidural stopped working. WHAT? How can this happen? They couldn’t figure out why. They even tried giving me a new one. That didn’t help. This went on for hours. The pain was so unbearable I think I may have left my body at one point…at least I tried to. They gave me more stadol, but that just made me puke.  My water finally broke the next morning and I started pushing. She was stuck and I pushed for at least 6 hours. It was so hard. They kept telling me to do it a certain way. I was just thinking "Listen dog face…unless you wanna trade uteruses right now, shut the &*^%$ up!"  I was certain, and I mean certain, that I was going to die. The doctor arrived. I looked him square in the eye and said "You get this out of me now and I mean NOW!" His eyes widened and he said okay. He got the vacuum and about 15 minutes after that she finally came out. She was born at 12:46pm September 16th. Remember, labor started about 11am on the 15th. It was no longer Grandma Rose’s birthday, but it was now my Grandma Betty’s birthday.  
 
My placenta did not deliver as the pitocin machine quit working. Nice. Could THAT be why I was in labor so long? Who knows. I bled alot. But at that point I didn’t care. The pain was over. I even felt the needle where he stitched me up and I didn’t care. I had to wear a cathader for the 3 days I was in recovery because I was so traumatized ‘down there’. It took a long, long time to heal. They gave me percocet and ibuprofin the whole time I was there. And prescriptions for when I left.  All the nurses in recovery were amazed I hadn’t had a C-Section. They just kept calling me ‘poor thing’.  But, it was indeed worth it. I won’t do it again anytime soon let me tell ya, and if I did have another I would probably demand a C-Section..but it was worth it.
 
Baby was perfectly healthy. She didn’t sleep much. Too busy crying. Her nose was all crooked and smooshed. And her hands were fisted and always waving. I called her Tyson. My Cassidy. A stubborn fighter from day one.
 
Happy birthday sweetie. I love you. But, prepare for the guilt.
 
 
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About Heather Rayne

I am a mom, wife, writer, volunteer, eater of food, lover of animals and avid TV enthusiast. I am opinionated, honest, compassionate and sensitive. I can also be difficult, hard headed and emotional. I consider myself to have a great sense of humor and am very attracted to that in others. I am striving to live an authentic life. I am attempting to learn how to find happiness in the now. I always have hope to be a better person. That being said - I can be vulgar, negative and even a little bitchy at times. I say what I mean and my filter is often dysfunctional. With me, what you see is what you get. I have strong opinions and am quick to speak my mind. This can cause problems from time to time but I do not ever intend to hurt or offend anyone. With that - be warned. I do hope you enjoy my site. Thanks for visiting and have a swell day.

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